Dirty Old Man

I lurk. I snark. I'm the dirty side of Portland.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

My wife and I saw you from the other side of the bar and we really like your vibe.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Tell me you've never given a woman an orgasm without saying you've never given them an orgasm.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Remember those bland-ass burritos you tried once because you were thinking "I should try and be more healthy?"

https://t.co/a6LqJGAuhx

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Just drove past a Portland strip club with a sign "We'll motorboat your mask."

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Why the fuck would someone want hot ice cream? https://t.co/4BtO7S8QT3

[Eater Portland @eaterpdx]

One of Portland's hottest ice cream shops opens on East Burnside today https://t.co/8Meb7FBozz

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Hooters announces new pizza place in Portland.

https://t.co/ypfRl62HKd

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Call me old fashioned, but I don't think Sandwich Shops should have fucking "cocktail programs."

https://t.co/N9VB5z3IR7

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

@eaterpdx I look forward to telling these places all my dirty secrets. Most restaurants can't be trusted, so I appreciate this list. Thanks!

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Seeing an off-kilter porta-potty scares the shit out of me.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

@PPBPIO ?

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

@portlandgeneral Did I win?

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

@portlandgeneral I like to fuck with the lights out.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Man, those folks at @car2goPortland are kinda dicks.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

I don't know what sensor they gotta add to make it happen, but I'd love it if my Apple Watch didn't vibrate while I'm taking a piss.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Spoiler: He got stoned and thought it was a great idea. https://t.co/4iOazAhbk9

[Breaking PDX News @breakingPDXnews]

Umpqua CEO Ray Davis on 'World's greatest bank' tagline: "Thank you for calling the world's greatest bank." Every… https://t.co/RpmjCUKae6

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

tfw when you're a chef in a magazine, but the picture is of a bowl of turds.

https://t.co/L3a5ZwuXm7

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Everyone in the modern age has purple as their favorite color.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

I keep seeing ads for this new restaurant in Portland where they serve horse everywhere.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

I've never actually heard Tina Turner's “Private Dancer” played in any strip clubs, which I think is weird.

[Dirty Old Man @dirtyoldpdx]

Ever since they opened the stripclub/salon in Portland, you can tell the perverts because they have really nice hair.