Spend some time with yourself. Which do you fear most - thrusting yourself upon the existence or being forced to surrender to it.
Beyond your fear lies your power
If your partner desires for you to take more control, the next time you have sex, tell them you are going to fuck them but you aren’t going cum. Then don’t
Self exploration through darkside meditations, breath work and body movement will allow you to explore your desires beyond the surface level
But without outward fun and play you’ll never discover what works in the real world and what you want to remain just a fantasy
We can never been fully honest with our partner if we are not fully honest with ourselves first.
This means acknowledging and embracing the darkness within.