Jessica Ley

This story’s old but it goes on and on until we disappear…

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

On my way to & from work each day, I walk past a Pie Face and, thanks to @Wil_Anderson, I laugh. Yes, I'm that weird person at the station.

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

Pretty glad I went to the @taylorswift13 show with my BFF and not work peeps from my new job cause my dance moves were dorky but oh so fun.

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

Finally got a complement from my mum on my hair. Almost makes up for all those times she said "can you really afford to eat that ice cream?"

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

Last time I listened to Tina Arena was on cassette in the car where I impressed my family with my voice by lip-syncing - way before Britney!

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

I'm the most attracted to Rupert Grint in the Lego House video. Does that mean I'm more attracted to delusional celeb stalkers than wizards?

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

It took having one sunburnt arm and one pasty white one to realise mum was right about the sunscreen thing...I'm the arm version of Two-Face

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

"Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different."

C.S. Lewis

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

That's why it's a bit much asking us to buy that the two leads are "meant to be" and "in love" when they demonstrate no real deep connection

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

I miss the days when the two leads in a film showed magnetic chemistry without even touching. Now they just suddenly get drunk and have sex

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

So DiCaprio's "The Revenant" isn't suitable for women because they can't handle the brutality? Absurd & insulting! https://t.co/zCedPzSdHL

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

Was asked if my best friend is hot and my response was a flat 'no'. I'm not a bitch, I'm a realist. Not everyone can be hot, that's a fact.

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

Feeling pseudo-drunk after consuming too much sugar,so feel I should do what real drunk people do & get Maccas on the way home but at 7:30pm

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

My taxi driver just said "if you work in advertising, why don't you just advertise yourself to get a boyfriend?" Should I buy a billboard?

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

When I see the new https://t.co/nPDObcNF4B ads, it makes me want a cute baby meerkat, as opposed to insurance.Are they a gift with purchase?

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

The mechanic asked me to try and avoid washing my car for a few days. Try? I've tried and succeed at washing avoidance since I bought it.

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

I get irrationally annoyed when people say "3am in the morning". Words might be free but that is no excuse to be redundant.

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

What's with this 'How to be single' movie?Isn't singledom just an affliction for the unloveable?That wasn't enough, so now we need a manual?

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

Tuesday night TV = #WWEraw & #VanderpumpRules. They're both the same thing really- entertaining altercations prefaced with 'real' storylines

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

Sorry that should be 'friend'. Singular. I just have the one to reduce my obligations in order to make more time for Netflix.

[Jessica Ley @dirtyrottengoss]

At 27 I should be more enthused about friends' engagements than a Taylor Swift concert, but one involves shopping for cookware #TeamTakeOut