one of the main reasons i’m so gentle with myself is cause i believe i’ve already experienced enough hardship in my life. i’ve already been mishandled and undervalued by others and myself at times. so i deserve more patience, forgiveness, and consideration at this point.
I really owe myself an apology. For staying in places where I felt I wasn't wanted, but chose to hold on anyway. For trying to fix bonds that were already dead. For putting people first who would never have done the same for me. I knew better, but I kept giving chances. I kept showing up for folks who didn't appreciate me. So now I'm holding myself accountable, because I should.
It took me a long time to realize I’m not “toxic” for no reason… disrespect is my trigger. I’m naturally chill, loving, easy to vibe with, and I give grace way longer than most people deserve. But the moment I feel played with or disrespected, something in me switches. My peace disappears, my patience runs out, and that soft version of me gets real sharp, real fast. Not because I’m mean… but because I know how much love I lead with before I ever snap. What you give me is what you get back. I’m still learning… but I’m also very aware 🧘🏽♀️✨
I’m so used to things going wrong & mfs hurting me that I don’t know how to allow myself to just be happy! I’m always self sabotaging so I don’t end up disappointed.