John Hawkins

Big data. Tiny life. There's funny in there. I'ma find it.

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

Unutterably proud to be associated with this work and these people. https://t.co/EG4fsikOVx

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

Straight up shillin': if the major barrier you face in finding a decent talk therapist is the *finding*, I quite like @betterhelp.

And if you just don't need a skilled listener in your life, I've got a bridge to sell you...

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@seankreynolds I don't know who this "Rorschach" dude is, but he sure is obsessed with my mother having sex...

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@wickman @evnhsn Marble / Muggle

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@SeanNittner Appreciated, but I was quite sincere: I'm not even disappointed, I'm just confused.

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

How is DHL both so astonishingly terrible at the final step of actually handing off the package, and yet still in business?

Not rhetorical, I'm actually asking.

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@KevanForbes @SeanNittner You say "graying chia", we say "what if David Cross, but sexy"

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@SeanNittner I loved the old look, but it kind of *looked* effortful. Which is a specific mood. Personally, I'm hell of digging the new look. My vote is bring that photograph on the right to your barber every couple of weeks and say "like this again"

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@marius Yeah. Sympathy. That's probably it.

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

Acronym of the day: CV

Very context dependent. Often short for "Coefficient of Variation", "Cross-Validation", or "TL;DResume".

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@SeanNittner #thisguyseans

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@ndyfschr @joelgrus The SWAPATWs? I don't think they really exist...

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

Okay, i'ma marry this guy's insta now, and as long as I can find an officiant they have to honor my union in all 50 states. Right?? https://t.co/TNtDhIDFOm (h/t @NTERIORdesigner)

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@motherofbombs @fayemikah I understood this reference.

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

I'll take "Wildly Self-Destructive Nazi Apologistics" for -$1B, Alex.

[Rob Cassidy @Cassidy_Rob]

Posting "wow pretty problematic" under every single person's Spotify wrapped and then responding "it's not my job to educate you" when they ask what I mean by that.

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@cwgabriel @MARVELSNAP Wait what? @cwgabriel is creating @MARVELSNAP variants? Okay now THAT I would spend $10 on without complaint. SUATMM. :cough:@javalasers:cough:

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

Hazmat is pretty funny.

[John Hawkins @disquietwit]

@tonydowler Conservation of mass means all this pandemic weight had to come from *somewhere*. I have this thing where I get older and just ever wider...