i am forever trapped in my own brain. meds do the bare minimum, and i can't pull myself out of the hole i've dug myself into for the past 10 years... consumption is temporary, illness is forever. i've failed myself.
if reincarnation is real, i hope my next life will be better.
i feel like someone whose been hiding in a basement with no sun (or "living under a rock") when i talk to new ppl... i feel bad for those who have to deal with my social reclusiveness sometimes...
being grown and still learning to utilize social media is weird... like how do ppl make internet friends, join fandoms, and just exist online...? i've been too sheltered and restricted to *really* understand such concepts...
+ how the internet was percepted onto me growing up... i will always carry those thoughts. "being online" was forbidden. it was treated as if it should be the bane of my existence. i was punished for even posting a pic of my 3ds online in the past ๐งโโ๏ธ
no wonder i'm so paranoid...