Luke

oo

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Man I’m at family dinner and my uncle says time to eat. Shut up dude you were only invited because you are married to my mom and me.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

The people who get marketing/graphic design degrees but get marketed into watching jumanji 2. I just don’t see you being successful in your career path.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

How do I befriend a girl?

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Drinking a root beer.

Friend: “what do you have there”

Me: “just getting to the root of the beer problem”

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Beer is turning into 2 beers

[Luke @divebarshaman]

This stuff literally means nothing to me.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Watching the Dixie chicks reunion tour on chaturbate…

Goodbye earl more like goodbye to all the cum in my balls.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Told my girl I’m tryna pour beer into her mouth…. We’re outta beer.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

My body was once an ants temple. My body will one day be an ants temple once again.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Eating bread I brought to the bar and drinking wine.

Told my server I’m Jesus.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

I smell like 1000 pigeons.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Somebody’s gonna have to eat all these bugs.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

God sent bees for the boy. The boy asked whose army is this?

The bees: buzz.

Buzz translated: we are bees.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

He died cause of bees? Who the fuck wrote this shit.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Homie hit me with “now I got a little piece of you for life” dawg that’s just poop

[Luke @divebarshaman]

They makin cars just look more like bugs.

I think.

[Ba$ed Ben @Bennanoman]

Me and my friends would’ve killed E.T. with hammers I can tell you that much

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Can we watch Matilda

[Luke @divebarshaman]

@beerwanter You tryna go out tonight.

Maybe after I finish the tunnel.

[Luke @divebarshaman]

Me and nate tryna open a club where it’s really hot and everyone’s sweating and they only serve drinks with like a lot of water and the bartender says “stay hydrated bro”