丽雪 🌨

professional hater

[Female Gremlin @trashgyn]

I’m sorry but women w boyfriends will come to you and be like “he keeps shitting his pants” “he doesn’t brush his teeth” “he doesn’t remember my food allergies” “he gets black out drunk 5 days a week” what else are we supposed to say

[Laura 🦋 @formuLau16]

THE F1 ACCOUNT PUT A TIMING ON THE LIZARD 😭😭😭😭

[m @mladamri]

microdosing hell by being aware and literate

[yas 🦉 @wisegirlyas]

eu abro o ao3 descaradamente porque se a pessoa não reconhecer o layout eu não tenho motivo pra ficar com vergonha, e se a pessoa reconhecer o layout eu tenho menos motivo ainda pra ficar com vergonha

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

It’s fucking perfect.

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

Reporting live on the scene from Nantucket's culture wars.

[丽雪 🌨 @divyaisa]

@luv_meX23 The best fanfic was written by someone who is in the hospital after surviving the most ridiculous Authors Curse™️ imaginable

[丽雪 🌨 @divyaisa]

@philsrack I think it's impressive but I also feel like it's similar when comparing older music sales to new ones. With how popular it was on Tiktok there are alot of "normies" now on Ao3. Not to mention AI generated fics... feels a bit disingenuous (?) Fandom spaces are much bigger now.

[丽雪 🌨 @divyaisa]

@H0LLANDSMARCH NO CAUSE LIKE WHAT DID HE DO?? THEY PUT HIS ASS UP THERE WITH PEDOPHILES AND SERIAL KILLERS 😭

[nya⁷ 🇵🇸 saw AUTUMN LEAVES live @lyricistaehyung]

i wish jude bellingham wasn’t in the same team as kane cuz i would love to root for jude bellingham’s sexy ass but the fucking devil is right there behind his shoulder

[丽雪 🌨 @divyaisa]

Bruce Wayne could fix Gotham if he actually put some of his villians in the dirt and not a very escapable prision

[dille @flurryfrenzy]

Bruce is interesting because the main reason he can’t use his fortune to simply fix Gotham is because he’s the only billionaire out of like 6 in Gotham actively trying to make it a better place 😭

[ًᵗᵒ @tosports13]

very tired of them treating russian athletes like they’re war criminals because of their government when they don’t do the same to american or israeli athletes

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[King🇭🇹 @kuisineking]

Brazil gotta go back to get players from the Hood these millionaires can’t compete they too comfortable

[𝖐𝖚𝖘𝖍𝖇𝟔𝖗𝖇𝖎𝖊❦™️ @kushb6rbie]

everyday i feel like that dog tryna ignore it

[ℳ𝒶𝓇 @MarTheNerd]

I want you to know you the reason im about to search World Cup fics on ao3

[Chincha poroto @1Girl86571]

Some times babygirl is a 40 yo man

[丽雪 🌨 @divyaisa]

@crunchhhtime @peepscereal @booboo3114 @McguirePetrov New Jersey is hosting the final at metlife