Brandon K

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Why is everyone taking selfies on this airplane and why is someone using the overhead compartment to store a balloon?

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Did my optometrist say to change my contacts every two weeks or every four months?

...it was probably four months, right?

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Traffic cop waving people through a green light. Thanks for clearing up any confusion with the traffic light system.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

The trick to the cheeseburger diet is to stop reading the nutritional facts after the protein facts but before the calorie facts.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

IKEA for breakfast by myself. It's gonna be a good day.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Girls who know me WISH I treated them like a piece of meat.

(like it's the greatest thing I've ever seen every time I see it)

[Brandon K @djbkap]

23/M/CA currently seeking a female who's into the idea of chipotle catering our wedding.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Valentines day with my girlfriend!

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Just lint-rolled my dog's face. #superbowlsunday

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Guys, EVERY Thursday can't be throwback Thursday. That's just ridiculous. #tbt #flashbackfri #setbacksat #somedaysun #memorymon #tuesday

[burrito tuesdays @burritotuesdays]

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: EAT MORE BURRITOS AND BE MORE EXCITED ABOUT IT

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Ah, the old classic rivalry.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Got a full price burrito on $2 taco Tuesday. Why? Because fuck you society, that's why. You don't tell me when to eat tacos.

[NFL on ESPN @ESPNNFL]

Nick Foles vs Kyle Orton for the NFC East championship Sunday Night.

Just like we all thought back in August.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

There's fashionably late and then there's Bill Murray in the final minutes of the game in Space Jam late.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Overheard phonecall: "We ARE the dream team, but we're not murderers." Not sure what on the other end of that call could justify that.

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Dude lost a blue button down today. Dude liked said button down a lot.Holler @ a dude if you see it & I'll holler at said dude. @HakkasanLV

[Brandon K @djbkap]

So you're telling me that this box of butter is made with 100% real mashed potatoes? Good work, Betty Crocker!

[Brandon K @djbkap]

Just bought a tuna sandwich at a gas station. Tell my family I loved them.