dani

[No one you follow @Salle2Shooz]

Damn no one’s even mentioned this entire month is 420. We’ve strayed so far from the Light.

[dani @dless33]

@Violet_Leftie Not creamier but smoother. English hard.

[dani @dless33]

I just made hummus for the first time and I feel like a FOOL. why tf have I been buying this shit when it's this easy (and cheap) to make ????

[dani @dless33]

@Violet_Leftie I did this one bc I didnt have tahini. But I added more garlic, cayenne, red pepper flakes, and raz el hanout (idk what this last one is in English lmao) I also had to add some extra water to make it creamier
https://t.co/ozNjJQxD8W

[clara T @ramencult]

Joe Exotic is Steve Irwin’s Wario

[dani @dless33]

@_kaitlyngaffney HE THINKS IM GEPPETTO.... I'm howling 😂😂

[Jared Pechaček @vandroidhelsing]

my feed is like:

ANIMAL CROSSING

eat the billionaires

we are all doomed

ANIMAL CROSSING

gummy bears singing ‘Someone Like You’

ANIMAL CROSSING

we are gonna die

ANIMAL CROSSING

*sharpening guillotines*

ANIMAL CROSSING

ANIMAL CROSSING

SOCIALISM NOW

ANIMAL CROSSING

[dani @dless33]

you know the french are starved for social interaction when total strangers actually smile AND wave at you in public

[fANNEtastic @annechilada_]

My Quarantine Routine:

8-9 AM: pour up

9-10: drank

10-11: headshot

11-12 PM: drank

12-1: sit down

1-2: drank

2-3: stand up

3-4: drank

4-5: pass out

5-6: drank

6-7: wake up

7-8: drank

8-9: faded

9-10: drank

10-11: faded

11-12: drank

[dani @dless33]

got my permission slip and I'm READY !!!!

post-quarantine dan is gonna be fit as hell once this pandemic blows over. JUST WAIT.

[dani @dless33]

quarantine really changes a person.

I am about to go on a run. outside. who am I ? non-quarantine dan didn't even KNOW what exercise was.

[dani @dless33]

it was funny the first time. but you all have taken it TOO far
OK

[dani @dless33]

I swear to god if I see 1 more version of that "the government is putting the batteries in the birds" tweet I /will/ go ape shit.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

nintendo: so you hate doing chores, right

me: totally

nintendo: and you hate working a job

me: so much

nintendo: what if you did all that while hopelessly in debt to a capitalist raccoon?

me: will it be cute

nintendo: so cute

me: then i will do it for 20,000 hours

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

My Quarantine Routine

I just wanted to share what works for me. This is just to give me structure and a sense of stability

9 am - 2 am: wake up & stare at my phone

[ky ⋆˙⟡ @sequinscarf]

celebrities: thoughts and prayers during this difficult time xx
me:

[- @myvillaneve]

celebrities relaxing in their fancy mansions with excellent medical care and singing songs about we will get through this together vs. literally every other person on this planet who’s struggling to survive right now

[dani @dless33]

@_kaitlyngaffney I can only hope that I am granted this same mercy in 2 months

[Stuart @punished_stu]

the fact that America seems to be rejecting the "free healthcare" candidate during a global pandemic is something I am finding hard to digest