slick

[slick @dlicj]

some guy just stumbled upon this sandwich in the woods

[Mike F @DeputyWarlock]

Ah man I'd love to come to your barbecue but I'm not hungry that weekend

[Mike F @DeputyWarlock]

cops are always like "can you tell me why you were going 90 in a 55?" and you have to explain to them that it literally gets you there way faster. just goes to show the guys who fail at math end up as cops.

[Mike F @DeputyWarlock]

if i ever found out a mouse lived in my home, and he had a small archway in the wall, and he lived in there with small, real furniture, and he ventured out nightly to get one olive or a small wedge of cheese. i would stop at nothing to end his life. i would spare no expense

[slick @dlicj]

@laurenmcb18 @DeputyWarlock Not sure if there’s a better link somewhere else but this thread with Mike was so funny. https://t.co/Q0WnLp7fmh

[Mike F @DeputyWarlock]

Gigantic 2 mile long sandworm traversing vast stretch of desert: oh my god is that 4 dudes. This is just the satisfying meal I need for my big body

[slick @dlicj]

@anthkc They still follow my alt: jacobin Netherlands

[slick @dlicj]

@jeffbezosfan420 It was a good run

[slick @dlicj]

@lofipillbeats They found out I’m at the forefront of socialist thought

[slick @dlicj]

@lofipillbeats Haha

[slick @dlicj]

@sam_reginald That should be fine

[slick @dlicj]

saw a guy in his driveway underneath a rolling computer chair working on it like he was working on a car

[slick @dlicj]

@paynushurts First thing everyone should do when it’s time to tighten the belt

[slick @dlicj]

@illegalgambler Plain and simple

[slick @dlicj]

@_jmarquis Flesk

[slick @dlicj]

“Flesk”

[slick @dlicj]

@andrewtabs Floy

[slick @dlicj]

@ByYourLogic Once a 5’ 6 coworker called me a “beanpole”. I’m 5’9.

[summer 🖕 @salesforcechild]

me to my 4 year old son: i just got off the phone with santa and he is so angry about what you did that i am genuinely afraid for your life. we need to put you in hiding because at this point i think he would even kill me to get to you.