David MacElwain

Fourth Dimension Calgary, Canada Have a great life In service. Loving Life and Making a Difference. #friendofbill #recovery

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

Mom, your money cannot make your adult son sober.

When someone we love is trapped in addiction, our instinct is to help—to pay the rent, settle the debts, repair broken agreements and step into the next crisis. But sometimes what looks like help becomes protection from the very consequences that might finally wake him up.

In this video, I talk about a young man who said he wanted sobriety and a safe sober-living environment. His mother stepped in financially and tried to give him that opportunity. A short time later, he walked away from his commitments—and Mom was left holding the consequences.

There is an important difference between supporting recovery and enabling addiction.

Supporting recovery may look like:

• Helping him find treatment
• Driving him to recovery meetings
• Helping him enter sober living when he is prepared to do the work
Enabling may look like:
• Paying his debts
• Repairing his broken agreements
• Repeatedly rescuing him from crises created by his own decisions

Boundaries are not punishment, and boundaries are not abandonment. You can love your son with all your heart and still say, “No. This one belongs to you. It is yours to handle.”

If you are a mother struggling with an addicted or alcoholic adult child, you are not alone. Al-Anon, family recovery support, treatment professionals and healthy boundaries can help you recover your peace and stop carrying what does not belong to you.
If you would like to talk about treatment or sober-living options, leave a comment or contact me through the channel.
Please like this video, subscribe to Dads in Recovery and share it with a parent who needs to hear this message today.

#AddictionRecovery #Codependency #MothersOfAddicts #FamilyRecovery #Boundaries

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

Why Your Addicted Kid Keeps Going Back After Promising to Stop

If your son or daughter has looked you directly in the eye and said, “I’m finished. I’m never drinking or using again,” only to relapse shortly afterward, it can be almost impossible to understand.

But that promise may not have been a lie. In that moment, they may have meant every word.

Addiction and alcoholism affect the mind. Eventually, the illness begins speaking in the person’s own voice: “This time will be different. I can control it. One drink won’t hurt. I’ll stop tomorrow.”

I understand this from personal experience. I got sober when I was 25 years old, at a time when I truly felt like a lost cause. More than 45 years later, I have never had to go back—but recovery was not an easy path.

If you are the parent of an addicted or alcoholic child, you cannot control every decision they make. But that does not mean you are helpless.

You can learn about treatment, intervention, healthy boundaries and how to protect your own peace of mind. You can stop carrying the entire illness by yourself—and you can become part of the way out.

If you would like to talk about treatment, intervention or what you can do as a parent, leave me a comment or reach out through the channel.

Please subscribe to Dads in Recovery for more honest conversations about addiction, alcoholism, families and recovery.

#AddictionRecovery #FamilyRecovery #ParentsOfAddicts

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

Mom, Your Child’s Addiction Is Taking Your Life Too

Mom or Dad, when was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?

Living with a son or daughter who is caught in addiction can slowly take over your entire life. You check your phone constantly. You worry about where they are and whether they are safe. You wait for the next crisis, calamity or piece of drama. Fear, guilt and confusion begin affecting your sleep, peace, relationships, finances and health.

Recovery is not only for the person using drugs or alcohol. Parents and families need recovery too—not because you caused the addiction or because you are a bad mother or father, but because living with the disease affects everyone around it.

If we want to be present for our children, we have to find our own sanity. That may mean Al-Anon, counselling, prayer, spiritual work, supportive friends and learning how to set clear boundaries.

There is a difference between saying no with anger and saying no with love. You can say: “I love you. I won’t give you cash. I won’t lie for you or rescue you from every consequence. But if you’re ready to consider treatment and recovery, I will help you take that step.”

Our recovery cannot guarantee that our children will recover. There are no guarantees. But it can help us sleep again, breathe again, rebuild our relationships and get our own lives back.

Mom and Dad, you matter too. You can love your children with all your heart, still say no and become an example of recovery.

If your child is ready to consider treatment, send me a private message or use the contact information on this channel. If you need support for yourself, please find an Al-Anon meeting or another family recovery group. You do not have to carry this alone.

If someone is in immediate danger or may be overdosing, contact emergency services where you live.

Subscribe to Dads in Recovery for honest conversations about addiction, parents, boundaries, treatment and spiritual recovery.

#ParentsOfAddicts #FamilyRecovery #DadsInRecovery

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

https://t.co/gjtBBSbz5p

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

Mom or Dad, what is the hardest boundary for you: money, housing or refusing to cover for them?

You don’t have to share any private details. You can love your child with all your heart and still say no.

If your child is ready to consider treatment, use the contact information on this channel. If you need support for yourself, please connect with Al-Anon or another family recovery group.

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

My Mom Couldn’t Fix Us—So She Did This Instead #dadsinrecovery #fatherho... https://t.co/PUXCJyWsgj via @YouTube

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

He’s 35, Mama—You Have to Let Him Go #stopenabling #ParentsOfAddicts https://t.co/HFxPT58mKy via @YouTube

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

If you think that you have failed as a dad or that the damage is not repairable, Watch this

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

If you think that you have failed as a dad or that the damage is not rep... https://t.co/n9GWV9D3xk via @YouTube

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

If you think you have failed as a dad or that the damage is irreparable, watch this!!

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

@ryangerritsen I agree.

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

@mark_slapinski Yes

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

@nenshi Naheed, you have drunk the Kool-Aid. As the leader of a major political party, please be careful what you recommend.
Your uneducated opinion here is divisive at this time.

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

Limits of the Mind and the Language of God” #dadsinrecovery #spiritualawakening #consciousness

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this question — how important is Dad?

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

https://t.co/rMvsQOkoBI

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

https://t.co/NHh7WUTnxO

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

I talk to a lot of dads in recovery who feel like they’ve blown it… that it’s too late. They say, “I missed too many years,” or “My kids don’t want to see me.”
But here’s the truth — kids don’t need a perfect dad. They just need a present one.

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

Men Supporting Men: The Key to Being a Better Dad in Recovery

[David MacElwain @dmacelwain]

@TheoFleury14 Congrates Theo. 20 is more than a good start.