Darren Carlile

Dislikes the word banter. Easily fooled by mannequins

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

@WiggumCharm I had been thinking this feels like strong The Poke territory. Congrats

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

@SeasideChris @WiggumCharm That was the first dart. At that stage of the night I was happy with anything inside the inner ring

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

Max Dowman 😍

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

No need for that… #TheBear

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

@SarahDuggers Yoshimi battles the pink robots, Pure Shores, or maybe My Own worst enemy (Lit) if you want something upbeat

[Ignacio Lopez @comedylopez]

Witnessed the most amazing thing on the train to Edinburgh yesterday. A guy boarded in Wigan & sat opposite me. He went to sleep for an hour.

When he woke up he bought a sandwich, ate it & went back to sleep. (This isn’t a maths test, you don’t need to know the distance/speed).

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

@LetsTalk_FPL MGW

[Michael Owen @themichaelowen]

Christmas is underrated. Best day of the year by far. #Family

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

Lots of chat about Will Jacks today. I saw his selection for the tour as a Ben Stokes back-up, so England could keep the balance of the side. If they wanted a spinner who could bat better than Bashir why not Rehan Ahmed? #TheAshes

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

Cheating Aussie bastards

[Test Match Special @bbctms]

The company that owns Snicko has admitted an "operator error" led to Alex Carey being wrongly given not out for caught behind against England. 😳

Carey, who was on 72 at the time, went on to make 106.

#Ashes #BBCCricket

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

This @cricketontnt is an absolute shambles. The sound is out of sync again - I heard “catch it” before the batsmen even hit it and then the clatter of wickets before the ball pitched 🙈

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

@IamAustinHealey must be pretty much peerless as technical co-commentator. Can’t think of anyone (any sport) with his quality of analysis and absence of the usual waffle. #ENGvNZL

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

This appeared somewhat randomly on my Spotify today but is an absolute banger 💥 https://t.co/eWnBXKek4M

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

@lloseby @NFFC Absolutely lost the plot

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

More people in here on crutches than a fracture clinic

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

In your early 40’s and desperate to feel young again? Just buy tickets to a Deacon Blue concert.

[Ryder Cup Europe @RyderCupEurope]

Tommy Fleetwood - the first ever player to claim 4-0-0 combined record in foursomes and four-ball TWICE 👌

#TeamEurope | #OurTimeOurPlace

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

@TommyFleetwood1 you absolute beauty!!! #rydercup

[Darren Carlile @dmcarlile]

Or the Premier league players with the most assists from through balls or the top scoring fantasy county cricketers from 1997

[mindy🌷 @mindyisser]

my husband spent four days with 9 of his oldest friends. i asked him if there was any news about their marriages, kids, families, jobs, etc. he said no. i asked what they talked about. he said they mostly tried to name every state capital and then every african country