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Texas retailers impacted by new jalapeño recall amid salmonella scare https://t.co/uIcVzMadeO

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@Geronimo4AISD Please implore Superintendent Elizalde to apply for a TEA waiver allowing us 4 more weeks of online instruction. We are not safe yet.

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@PressSec No. Watch the video. I understand that Trump is an lunatic bully, but what’s in it for you? What are you? Trying to mop up the explosive diarrhea and then spraying expired febreze on the pile. Cleanup on aisle Trump. You have to do this every day, poor soul.

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@LAontheRoad Beautiful. And look! Sobieski shots only $3.75! #notsmooth

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@aisdclosures Ok. Not real. Good. But you’re still being an ass to a perfectly nice human.

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@aisdclosures @DiazBdiazaustin Is this a real AISD account? If so, I am appalled.

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@realDonaldTrump What? Why? What is wrong with you? Our penises will always be smaller than an elephant’s. Stop. https://t.co/GXEvj94GQ2

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We're gonna be rich. #childstar https://t.co/ZAU46tkxgW

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The dishwasher wouldn't stayed closed. So I fixed it. https://t.co/zjJFcXLtRY

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Those stocking up on water in Austin. I know where you can get a bunch in about 5 hours.

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@Scaramucci Nice interwebbing. Not Mark Twain, communications director.

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I just wrote a review on The Mid Century Print Pack Mega Bundle https://t.co/aimlZ4vnku via @yotpo

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@IvankaTrumpHQ If your job is in the #WhiteHouse their are no champagne popsicles or "fun ideas" on the day we remember soldiers who died for you. No Clue

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@reppittenger What did your last annual physical cost you? Oh yeah.

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@reppittenger Look at your aunt uncle son nephew cousin mom or neighbor. Do they have a pre-existing? Look them in the eye.

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@reppittenger 3 million people in the US have type 1 diabetes. incl: Jay Cutler Billie Jean King Ron Santo Halle Berry, Nick Jonas: try empathy.

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@reppittenger Do you even know what a pre-existing condition is? One is BEING HUMAN. You are either dumb or horrible or both.

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A bunch of girls went to the Mall today. #WomensMarch

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Madame Tussaud’s Bernie.

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Smooooth. Salt n pepper smooth. And mocha. That too.