Guys… sorry for this very unsolicited advice but having recently lost my mom and now having to consolidate all of her affairs, (lucky for me, sis was quite organised but there are still some gaps we’re filling because we didn’t know), I have some tips for those who have a chance to try to get organised.
If your parents are still alive, here’s what you can TRY to do (cos I know some of them are very untrusting about stuff and will think you’re trying to come for ilefa prematurely 🥺🫣) but honestly, the peace I’m yearning for right now will be worth the effort I’m advising you to employ.
1. Prepare a file that has the following:
- Parents’ ID copies
- Parents’ Marriage Certificate (even the one from the lobola meeting)
- Parents’ Divorce Decree if divorced
- All title deeds reflecting their names and car ownership papers
- Municipal bills for the properties and logins to the e-portals for the municipal accounts (this is one of the most stressful things to sort out when the owner is no longer alive…YOH!)
- Bank statements (you can locate debit orders)
- Their pension fund administrators details
- Any business registration certificates and shareholders certificates
- Copies of all their latest policy schedules
- If your parents trust you and you won’t scam them, A list of their logins to their email addresses
- A list of their financial advisors and lawyers and doctors and their contact details
- A list of their creditors and contact details
- A list of their debtors and contact details
- An asset registry with a list of all their assets
- A list of their monthly bills (Dstv, telkom etc and the statements)
2. If this is at all possible, it will save a lot of headache
- Have a meeting with your parents and your siblings to allocate roles and responsibilities in the event of death and record it (written usually or visually if they’re okay with that)
- Write down what their wishes are for their send offs (where do they want to be buried, do they want cremation, singing on singing, which church must conduct etc etc and where the money for all this is coming from). Yea, they won’t be here to dictate to you () but, it will save you a lot of stress just doing what umufi asked for and everyone (especially the aunts and uncles) know it to be true
3. When your parent does pass away, have the following in the “deceased file”
- Death certificate (and certified copies)
- Hospital or Coroners report or notice of death
- Updated ID with stamp saying Deceased
- Burial notice
- Undertaker Notice
Lastly… get your parents to draft a will with a lawyer and nominate an executor whilst they are still alive 😭🥺😮💨 if you can invest in this, it will ease the administrative burden on you guys who have to take over when they are no longer alive.
Losing a parent you are close to is one of the most painful things you’ll ever experience in your existence… help yourself by not having to be in pain and highly frustrated because things weren’t organised when you had the chance.
* I know this is a very difficult subject to tackle at home…and it’s even more difficult to accept the reality of death… but if you do have the privilege of a good relationship with your parents, just try. For everyone else who doesn’t get to do this, I’m really sorry 🫂 I wish things could be better for you ❤️🩹
I hope this helps many people.
beware of destination addiction. the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job or even with the next partner. until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.
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