David Catanuto

Music and Sports Junkie, and 100% funny 40% of the time

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@TimRobbins1 I saw you at MSG in ‘95, was super star-struck, had had one too many and was *definitely* a bit too much for you in the moment. For that I have always felt bad. I’m sorry, sir!! And go Knicks!!

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@Steven_Hyden A 54-year-old’s looks decent, too

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Yup

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@InternetH0F “Tell me you’re a Narcissist without telling me you’re a Narcissistic.”

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@VinnysCorner1 Rusty Staub

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@SNYGiants @NikiLattarulo In a world of Jaxson Darts, be an Abdul Carter.

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@SNYGiants @NikiLattarulo “Jose…” 🤦‍♂️

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@JeffTrowbridge7 @AlTheBoss03 “I’ll take The Rapists for $1,000, Trebek…”

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@lesleyabravanel Van Halen
The Grateful Dead
Prince
The Police
Jack White
The Rolling Stones
Bob Dylan
Beastie Boys
Leonard Cohen
Guns n Roses

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@lesleyabravanel Dolly?? Baller!!!! ❤️

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@NHLGIFs Barbashev Quartet?

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@citizencope Minnesota would like a word…

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@selinameyersgf The Death of a Salesman line gets me every time.

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@atrupar The Director of the FBI literally “I know you are but what am I”’d Congress 🤦‍♂️ Insane

[Tom Bombadil @KevynDrago]

@VanLathan Morgan Wallen makes music for nursing majors from small towns

[chelsaya @chelsaya]

just filled my tank up for $50 because the president started a war because he FUCKS CHILDREN

[CONSEQUENCE @consequence]

Willie Nelson's Tips to Living a Long Life:

1. I try to eat pretty sensible.
2. Sometimes I’ll get up and shave, and sometimes I won’t.
3. Shut up.
4. Smoke every day.
5. Have a good garden full of vegetables and maybe a freezer full of some good meat.
6. Worrying will make you sick. If you can’t do anything about it, why the hell worry about it?
7. I see the funny side first.
8. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t be a goddamn asshole.
9. If you’re thinking negative about anything... erase that.
10. Keep your legs crossed, your nose clean, and stay out of trees.
11. We’re all going to die. There’s not a lot we can do about it. If you hear of anything, let me know.

📸: Pamela Springsteen

[Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski]

Stop holding comedians who make jokes to higher standards than politicians who lie, steal, and are in the Epstein files over 1000 times.

[David Catanuto @dnuto]

@20th_Centurygal @robertrandolph NYC around…1995?? He was opening for Deep Banana Blackout as I recall. Hadn’t heard his 🎶 before, they blew the absolute doors off the place. We turned to each other and said well nothing is gonna come close to that tonight. And we left.