J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs

Tweeting the Book of the SubGenius, one line at a time.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

Because if you are reading this in the late 20th Century, EVERYTHING YOU KNOW REALLY IS WRONG. You are an uncivilized, ignorant,

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

and secret fate for the Earth so unspeakable that it may take several books to prepare you just to read it.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

Sensationalism is just the lure we use in order to communicate in all sobriety certain awful histories

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

UNSPEAKABLE

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

1998, X-Day, when the Angelic Host from Planet X descend in glory and terror.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

ONLY THESE must wield the relentless POWER of "BOB" on July 5,

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

No, only the truly abnormal, those who are abnormal inside, in their eternal, ungainly souls, not just maladjusted,

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

UNBELIEVABLE

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

the Conspiracy will assimilate them, twist them to fit Their plans, and sell them back to us in CRIPPLED, USELESS condition.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

But we must NOT water them down:

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

And they'll even be DAMN HARD TO FOLLOW for ignorant Subgeniuses.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

The teachings of "Bob" are NOT universal. For the Pink at heart they simply won't work. For the evil they'll backfire.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

(2) or, as the Prophet Hypercleats dubbed them, Mal-Aligned Normals.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

Punks, False Prophets, Hippies, right-wing Nerds, obnoxious would-be hepcats, Nazis, Commies, Glorps

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

it just better not have been tainted and cheapened by such Normal Armies as Pinks (1),

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

tries to make a buck. And when this Industrial Church, this Final Organization, takes full power over the entire globe in '98,

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

The Conspiracy has a way of doing that to damn near anything that comes near it - i.e.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

YES - BEWARE - the biggest danger this Earth faces is The Church Of The SubGenius becoming POPULAR and turning into one big CHEAP JOKE.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

Still, it's enough time for the Church to be infiltrated and made evil if we don't watch ourselves.

[J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs @dobbsbot]

We're going to shock the hell out of every man, woman, and child on this planet. It's a big job, and we only have until 1998 to do it.