Dr Roger Morris

Household crow. Trigg family GP. Not a medical doctor (as such). Recording the downfall of the plush community. Take two gins, hourly. #bwaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

The Harrods Bears are pretty benign, as you’d expect. I mean, they’re all riddled with chlamydia but you knew that. #bwaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

The Harrods Bears are pretty benign, as you’d expect. I mean, they’re all riddled with chlamydia but you knew that. #bwaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

They say a dog’s not just for Christmas. Simon says he’ll do up til New Years, but he’s got a lot on, so don’t go making plans after that. Gets booked up early and he’s got a regular gig with the Triads in February. Needs a holiday before then, obvs. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

If ever there was a case for extraditing anyone to Rwanda, it’s this. “Care Bears” my arse. The Cluster Family have been terrorising this county since 1993 with their bloody fiddly-dee music and ket dealing. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

That rabbity fucker’s been responsible for some of the worst Prince covers in this town’s history!! Rip his ears off and shove them up his ar… sorry, Sarah. You do what you want. I’m over it now. #purplebwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Lech, Kasymir and Pol wish you the happiest of Wigilias. They’re off down the Polish Club for a glass of Spyritus and some perogies! And that sack of Chang that Lech got through customs in July. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

They say a dog’s not just for Christmas. Simon says he’ll do up til New Years, but he’s got a lot on, so don’t go making plans after that. Gets booked up early and he’s got a regular gig with the Triads in February. Needs a holiday before then, obvs. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Look: it’s Gary Swain. Seems friendly enough, yeah? He’s been a mule for the illegal trade in Bully XL jizz since Covid. And, really, you do not want to know. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

How’s “Forever” working out for you then, Simon? The absolute poster-boy for hubris. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Hey hey: Roeloff’s back. All charges dropped and he got to keep the Koala sanctuary, apparently. Turns out it’s never *what* you know. Ah, that’s made my day. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Ralph and Satchel Tissot are the bad kind of French, if you know what I mean? Horse meat scandals, people
smuggling and racism. Yet, somehow, despite Brexit, here they still are. Mont Blanc! #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

You can try to hide, Neil. But everyone knows what you did. They were on the Endangered Species list for a reason. Tit. #bwaaark

[Dom Harrison @MrDomHarrison]

The single most brilliant thing I've ever read.

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Happy St George’s Day!! Sorry that Simon Stranks here has eaten all of the good St George’s Pudding. But what did you expect? He’s an absolute knob. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

And still they come. You’d think, with his reputation, that folks’d give him a wide berth. Tbh, it’s like Nesmith Mulligan is some kind of magnet. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Nesmith!!!! #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Nesmith was Britain’s worst kidnapper, until his arrest in a police sting at Twycross in 2016. Found god, set up a “charity” supplying disposable phones to rural teens, seemed legit. Looks like he’s back to his old tricks, tbh. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

John Wang (yes, you may wonder) resents the whole “rare as rocking horse poo” thing. Once glassed a bloke who tried it in a queue in Greggs. Shat in his Steak Bake for good measure. The shortest of fuses. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

One from the archives, seems particularly apt this week #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Alys, Arwen and Anders never considered themselves particularly Royalist. But since they thought about the prospect of “President Raab”, they’ve virtually been shitting bunting for Her Maj. #bwaaark

[Dr Roger Morris @docrogermorris]

Fucks sakes, Chris. No-one wants see your gooch! #bwaaark