ترامپ بیننده ثابت شوی جیمی کیمل است و تقریبا هر شب دربارهاش توییت میکند. جیمی دیروز در بخشی از برنامه، مستقیم او را خطاب داد و حرفهایی زد که دیگر طنز نبود. این متن بخشی از حرفهای اوست:
ترامپ [در تروثسوشیال] نوشت "من در فهرست رأیگیری نبودم، و اگر بودم، با اختلافی قاطع پیروز میشدیم."
آه، خفه شو. فقط خفه شو. فقط یک روز هم به ما مهلت بده و آن دهان مضحک را ببند. تو واقعاً یک بچه لوسی.
تا به حال اصلا چیزی درباره آداب معاشرت یا اخلاق ورزشی یا حداقل نزاکت آموختهای؟ هیچوقت هیچ تقصیری گردن تو نیست.
تقریباً همه جمهوریخواهان تقریبا در همهجا در همهجا بهجز عمیقترین اعماق دریای سرخ، [رنگ حزب جمهوریخواه] شکست خوردند. این تقصیر تو نیست؟!
همه نامزدهای بزرگ و دستچینشدهات شکست خوردند. دارلین گراهام را برای رقابت در کارولینای جنوبی انتخاب کردی. تام تیلیس را از سنا بیرون راندی. از آن کِن پکسنِ رقتانگیز در تگزاس حمایت کردی. همهچیزت را روی ویوک باراماسوامی گذاشتی و تبلیغ نفرتانگیز کمپینش.
و اگر آقای کاریزما، جیدیونس را بهعنوان معاون رئیسجمهورت انتخاب نکرده بودی، جمهوریخواهان هنوز آن کرسی سنا را داشتند که دیشب در اوهایو از دست دادند.
اما اگر نامزد بودی، با اختلافی قاطع برنده میشدی.
این دیگر چه مزخرفی است؟ تو خودت نامزد بودی.
تو مثل موی سگی؛ همهجا هستی. هر گوشهوکنار زندگی ما هستی.
تو این کشور را جوری از هم پاشاندی که هیچکس دیگری از هم نپاشانده بود.
تنها باری که واقعاً ما را دور هم جمع کردی، دیروز بود؛ وقتی که همه با هم متحد شدیم تا از شر تو خلاص شویم.
[خطاب به جمهوریخواهان] حالا میبینید که او به هیچکس جز خودش وفادار نیست. او فقط قرار نیست شما را زیر اتوبوس بیندازد. او خودش آن را میراند. او شما را زیر میگیرد، و بعد دنده عقب میگیرد، و دوباره همین کار را میکند.
او هم عقب میرود، هم جلو میآید و از روی بدنتان رد میشود تا وقتی که روی جاده مثل خمیر بازی له شوید. چون نمیتواند بپذیرد که هیچ چیزی تقصیر اوست.
کاش امروز والدینش زنده بودند تا میتوانستیم به خاطر کاری که با او و با ما کردند، آنها را به زندان بیندازیم.
مطمئنم آن شب برای همه در کاخ سفید خیلی شب مفرحی بود. دستوپا میزد.
این دیوانهکننده است: دیشب، پولیتیکو یک برنامه زنده داشت.
آنها در حال بررسی نتایج انتخابات میاندورهای هستند و یکی از نویسندههایشان، دَشا برنز، میگوید من شماره تلفن ترامپ را دارم.
[ویدئوی پولیتیکو]
دَشا برنز: گ بزنیم و ببینیم جواب میدهد یا نه. بیایید با رئیسجمهور تماس بگیریم. فکر میکنم، فکر میکنم وقتش رسیده. دربارهاش صحبت کردهایم. ببینیم جواب میدهد یا نه.
گوشی را برداشت
[از آن سوی خط[
ممکن است بپرسم چه کسی تماس میگیرد.
- سلام، من دَشا برنز از پولیتیکو هستم.
یک لحظه، لطفاً.
تدامپ: هی، داشا، حالت چطوره؟
- سلام، آقای رئیسجمهور، خوبم. فقط میخوام بدونم پیامتون چیه؟ فکر میکنید چه اتفاقی افتاد امشب با حزبتان؟
- اسم من در برگه رأی نبود و ما هم مردم را پای صندوق نیاوردیم، اما من در برگه رأی نبودم. اگر اسم من در برگه رأی بود، برنده میشدیم. خیلی راحت، همهچیز را میبردیم.
[بازگشت به استودیو جیمی کیمل]
باز هم، آخرش مسئولیتش میافتد گردن بقیه.
برای کسی که از اخبار جعلی متنفر است، واقعاً برایشان خیلی راحت است که با او تلفنی ارتباط بگیرند. فقط نشسته خانه و به تماسهای هر کسی جواب میدهد.
بعد از این همه ناله درباره تقلب در انتخابات، ترامپ به نیویورک تایمز گفت نتیجه را خواهد پذیرفت، که خب، این اصلاً چه خبر مهمی است؟ تو نتیجه را میپذیری. اوه، ممنون. چه بزرگوارانه.
نتایج برای این نیست که شما آنها را بپذیرید یا رد کنید. اینها نتیجهاند.
او هرگز در هیچ کاری شکست نخورده است.
چیزی که امیدوارم از این یاد بگیریم این است. دونالد ترامپ برایش مهم نیست حزب جمهوریخواه.
او دموکرات بود. در واقع دموکرات هم نبود.
بعد شد جمهوریخواه که جمهوریخواه نیست. او به هیچکس و هیچچیز وفادار نیست. تنها حزبی که او رهبری میکند حزب چُرتیهاست. تنها آدمی هم که توی آن است، خودش است.
رأی صادر شده، و فقط یک چیز باقی مانده که گیلمورِ خوابالو باید انجام دهد.
[خطاب به ترامپ]
استعفا بده! دیگه کنار بکش. هیچکس تو را نمیخواهد. حتی خودت هم دیگر نمیخواهی رئیسجمهور باشی. آن یک میلیارد دلار ارز دیجیتال را بردار. یک جزیره بخر. شاید جزیرهٔ اپستین.
آیا این پایانِ عالیِ این داستان نمیشد؟ و شاید فکر میکنی، خب، اگر استعفا بدهد، آیا این جِی.دی. ونس را رئیسجمهور نمیکند؟
خب، بله، همینطور میشود. اما دربارهٔ جِی.دی. ونس این را بگویم. فردی که از اینکه دونالد ترامپ هیتلرِ آمریکا است به اینکه دونالد ترامپ بهترین رئیسجمهور نسل من است تغییر موضع داد، میتواند دوباره هم برگردد.
وقتی ستون فقرات نداشته باشی، این کار آسان است.او خیلی خوب تغییر موضع میدهد.
دموکراتها کلی برنامه دارند، درست است؟ آنها قول دادهاند چندین تحقیق و بررسی آغاز کنند. و راستش، چیزهای زیادی برای تحقیق و بررسی هست:
رمزارز.
فساد.
هواپیمای قطری.
آیس.
ایران.
ونزوئلا.
بخششهایی برای رفقای پولدارش.
سالن رقص.
بال غربی.
مرکز کندی.
استخر بازتابی.
پیت هگست.
سرخک.
جرد کوشنر.
ایلان.
روسیه.
چین.
گرینلند.
کانادا.
و یک چیز کوچکی که دوست دارم به او بگویم: پروندههای ترامپ-اپستین، که از دیدنشان لذت میبریم.
I have been holding my tongue about something that happened during the Ohio gubernatorial race. I refused to speak while the election was underway because I did not want my words mistaken for an attempt to influence anyone’s vote.
But now that the election is over, I have something to say.
For nearly twenty years, my ministry has taken me among the homeless, the abused, the exploited, and the forgotten. I have sat with victims of sexual violence and witnessed the lifelong wounds of childhood trauma.
What Vivek Ramaswamy’s campaign did to Amy Acton was among the most morally repulsive things I have witnessed in American politics.
They took a woman whose stepfather was indicted for raping her when she was twelve years old and featured her mother, from whom she had been estranged for nearly fifty years, in a political advertisement attacking her credibility.
The advertisement challenged Acton’s account of her childhood without mentioning the sexual abuse allegations or the circumstances of that estrangement. When people expressed their horror, the campaign defended it.
Imagine examining another person’s childhood suffering and fractured family relationships, then deciding those wounds might help win an election.
Anyone who has worked with survivors of childhood sexual abuse understands the painful realities of denial, betrayal, shame, and estrangement. A child growing into a successful adult does not erase what happened. Nor does a parent’s denial make that suffering disappear.
I find it equally disturbing that an elderly mother, whom Acton herself described as unwell, was brought into this spectacle. Whatever her own struggles or responsibility for the past, exploiting that fractured relationship was grotesque.
To everyone who defended this, consider the message you sent to survivors. To the young woman whose family refuses to believe her. To the man who has carried the shame of childhood abuse for forty years. To the frightened child who has yet to tell anyone.
What did you teach them about the value of their suffering?
I am a priest. I believe in repentance, forgiveness, and redemption. But none of those things requires me to pretend that deliberate cruelty is anything less than a grave moral failure.
Your political allegiance does not absolve you of moral responsibility. You do not get to set aside your conscience during an election and retrieve it afterward.
If your loyalty requires you to defend the exploitation of a childhood sexual abuse survivor, your loyalty has become an idol. And if your conscience cannot recognize the wrong here, examine what political tribalism has done to it.
This is not about Republicans or Democrats. We have a choice as a people: continue excusing cruelty from our preferred political camp, or summon the courage to condemn it wherever it appears.
Amy Acton deserved better. Every survivor who watched this unfold deserved better.
And God help us if we have reached the point where winning an election matters more than protecting the dignity of a wounded human being.
This Australian's reply to Trump's rant about “NATO not being there for America” is perfect.
"Mate. You run a country with 600,000 homeless people sleeping on the street tonight. A country where 40% of adults can't cover a $400 emergency without borrowing money. A country where insulin costs more than a car payment and people are rationing it to survive. A country where medical debt is the number 1 cause of bankruptcy. A country where women are dying in hospital car parks because doctors are too scared of abortion laws to treat a miscarriage.
You lock up more of your own citizens than any nation on earth. More than China. More than Russia. More than North Korea. The land of the free has 2 million people in cages, and a quarter of them haven't even been convicted of anything. They're just too poor to make bail.
Your life expectancy is going backwards. You're the only developed nation where that's happening. Your infant mortality rate is worse than Cuba's. Your kids do active shooter drills between maths and English while you sell the gunmaker's stock to your mates.
Your minimum wage hasn't moved in 15 years. You've got teachers working 2 jobs and veterans sleeping under bridges and you just spent a trillion dollars flattening a country that didn't attack you.
And you’ve got a convicted felon, adjudicating raping, paedophile protecting, porn star shagging insurrectionist running the biggest dumpster fire war campaign since the Taliban in Afghanistan thanked you very much for losing again.
And you're calling Greenland poorly run?
Greenland has universal healthcare. Free education. One of the lowest incarceration rates in the world. Nobody goes bankrupt there because they got sick. Nobody dies in a waiting room because their insurance said no.
'NATO wasn't there when we needed them." When exactly was that, champ? September 11? Because NATO invoked Article 5 for the first and only time in history FOR YOU. Soldiers from dozens of countries deployed, fought, bled, and died in Afghanistan FOR YOU. Australia wasn't even in NATO and we still showed up. For 20 years.
And you pulled out at 2am without telling anyone and left them to deal with the mess.
So maybe before you start calling other countries poorly run, have a look at your own backyard, you spray-tanned aluminium siding salesman. The only thing poorly run in this picture is your f----- mouth."
Credit to: Jim Keller
I live in a small MAGA town.
I know MAGA people. I drink with them. I talk to them. I study them.
They’re not the loud Twitter yappers, at least most of them. They’re quieter. Slower. But the delusion runs deep, just bottled up in passive smiles and soft voices.
A few weeks ago, one of them tried to convert me at a bar. He knew I wasn’t into the Trump cult, but he started soft. Calm voice. Friendly tone.
“Mario, you’re white. You can drink a lot, you eat meat, “he was just surprised that I was eating rare burger” and drinking vodka chasing it with Guinness. He also said, “You’re one of us. You should feel proud.”
That’s their seduction tactic.
Not facts. Not logic. Just subtle tribal grooming.
“You’re white. You drink. You belong.”
It was almost sweet, in a sad, culty way.
Like a Jehovah’s Witness trying to sell you eternal life with a shaky brochure and cheap suit.
But let’s talk about the whole ecosystem.
The truth.
MAGA men?
Most are not warriors.
They’re out-of-shape, insecure, jealous small-town boys who peaked in high school, still clinging to stories from when they “almost went pro” or “should’ve been in the military.”
They’re proud of being able to drink a case of light beer, drive a truck, and scream about freedom while their knees buckle from sugar and rage.
They’re easy to manipulate because they don’t ask questions.
They don’t read.
They react.
They memorize memes like scripture and repeat them like gospel.
They think being loud equals being right.
They think the world is laughing with them.
It’s not.
The world’s laughing at them, when it’s not just ignoring them entirely.
MAGA women?
They’re caught in a brutal paradox, constantly screaming about how proud and strong they are, while reshaping every inch of their body to meet a fake beauty standard pushed by the very system they claim to hate.
Plastic lips. Inflated cheeks. Eyelashes thick as windshield wipers.
Trying to look rich while shopping clearance at Walmart.
They scream about “natural family values” while injecting Botox and collapsing into MLM scams that promise empowerment through overpriced lipstick.
They mock liberals for being “gender confused” while wearing more synthetic parts than a Barbie made in a Russian factory.
Here’s the thing: MAGA America isn’t just backward.
It’s boring. MAGA folks are simply subsimple.
There’s nothing imaginative about it. No new culture. No innovation. No ideas.
They don’t invent, they imitate.
They don’t challenge, they chant.
It’s the same five phrases over and over.
The same flag. The same truck. The same outfit.
Patriot cosplay.
And that’s why the world doesn’t just hate MAGA.
It forgets it.
Because once the shouting stops, there’s nothing under the hood.
Just cheap beer breath, fake smiles, and a belief that whiteness and loudness are still enough to matter.
You want the brutal truth?
Even without Trump, even without the cult, most of them would still be irrelevant.
Not because they’re evil.
But because they chose comfort over growth.
Tribalism over truth.
Imitation over imagination.
They don’t want to understand the world.
They want the world to stay small enough to understand them.
And that’s the saddest, most humiliating part.
BREAKING: PREACH! Republican Ana Navarro unleashes a truth nuke on Trump's failed presidency ahead of the midterm elections, enraging MAGA world.
Sorry Trumpers, but the truth hurts...
"We are only right now 56 days away from the midterm elections, and he is going to do everything he absolutely can to distract America from the chaos and the abuses of power," Navarro said on The View.
"From the fact that people can't afford health care, that the Iran War — the war with Iran that he started and said would only last a few weeks is now into month six," she continued.
"That he made a stupid deal and legitimized the government of Maduro that's left in Venezuela, that his cruelty with deportations, that a 20-year-old Haitian kid jumped in front of a moving truck in Ohio because of the depression caused by the removal of TPS because they had put an ankle monitor on him," she said.
"But the American people are not stupid. He can try all of these little distraction ploys. We are focused and we are going to vote," Navarro concluded.
It really is that simple. We are going to vote in historic numbers.
Trump can start trade wars with Canada and rename as many bodies of water as he wants, we aren't going to fall for the distractions. This is the worst President in American history and one of the worst leaders in world history. We are going to hold his entire party accountable for his failed war, the economic suffering he has burdened us with, and the ongoing Epstein coverup.
There is a blue tsunami coming and it's going to wash the MAGA movement away for good!
Please ❤️ and share if you're proudly voting Democrat!
It’s like when you lost a recruit because another school paid them ( before rule change) or when you had injuries that affected your team and record. No one that should care actually cares.
And that’s what’s miserable watching @WMU_Football They have to live with this. Miserable
That extra second that allowed Michigan to win on a Hail Mary? Welcome to the latest biggest clock controversy. Officials do need to do some explaining. The clock was at :00 as the Broncos were celebrating. WMU deserved the win.
A few more of these victories and @Tigers should be buyers at the trade deadline. Winning the AL Central is attainable. Just one reliable bat to avoid these prolonged slumps would make me very happy.
BREAKING: SCORCHED EARTH! Lawrence O’Donnell UNLOADS on "demented" Trump and the "deeply sick people" in the White House who helped craft his "proof of dementia" speech last night.
This one has MAGA world seeing red...
"He actually said the words and he was reading this from a teleprompter 'We had transgender for everybody,'" the anchor said on MS NOW. "So I guess that was what? Donald Trump's way of coming out as transgender? Because everybody means the guy who's saying it."
Trump has repeatedly made the insane claim that prior to his presidency, Democrats had implemented "transgender for everybody." It's an utterly nonsensical statement, but it demonstrates just how little he thinks of his supporters' mental faculties. He knows that if he just gestures at the word "transgender," like jangling keys for a dog, his supporters will start panting in excitement.
"But that's the sentence that was put in the teleprompter for him by the deeply sick people who work in the White House who pumped that stuff into his teleprompter," O’Donnell continued.
"He was talking about the state of the world as he found it when he became President," he went on. "He said we had 'transgender for everybody.' That was right at the beginning of his speech, this obsession that he has with transgender issues and transgender people, and suddenly all 300 million people in America were suddenly in this demented man's hallucination, transgender. And then what? He got us all back to whatever gender he thinks we were before he got to be President?"
"It is so deeply sick. Every single beat of this speech is deeply, deeply sick. A deeply sick delivery by a deeply sick person," he added.
Trump's fixation on transgender people is not some random quirk of his personality, it offers deep insight into his political strategy. He knows he has nothing to offer average Americans because his entire agenda revolves around tax cuts for oligarchs, handouts to the fossil fuel companies destroying our planet, and more foreign wars to benefit the military-industrial complex and Israel.
Since all of those goals are deeply unpopular with most of the country, he relies on culture war issues to distract and divide us. He hopes that if he gets us all arguing about trans people, we won't notice that he's lining his pockets with our money, slaughtering innocent people, and dismantling our Constitution.
The rest of Trump's speech was no better. He spent a lot of time ranting about China obtaining voter data on the 2020 election (even though there's zero evidence that they affected the vote tabulation) and pointed to it as proof for his claim that it was "rigged" in Joe Biden's favor.
O'Donnell dismantled the rest of Trump's speech lies, and then he really brought the hammer down—
"There is no American who has tried to cheat and interfere in our election in a bigger way than Donald Trump himself, who was indicted for it!" he said. "He was indicted for his cheating and interference in Georgia. He was indicted for his cheating and interference in a federal indictment. That's who up there giving that speech about cheating and interfering in our elections."
O'Donnell mocked the section of the speech in which Trump begged Congress to pass his voter suppression bill because it has no real path forward, then delivered a real zinger—
"And so here we are. After Mitch McConnell issued a proof of life photograph earlier this week, Donald Trump delivered a proof of dementia video," said O'Donnell. "Twenty-five minutes of it."
We couldn't agree more.
Please ❤️ and share to thank O’Donnell for boldly telling the truth!
Yes, Trump has eclipsed Mitch McConnell as the worst American of my lifetime. So have other monsters Donald has empowered: Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, Stephen Miller, etc.
But without Addison Mitchell McConnell III, there would be no Donald Trump. Remember this: Mitch fed the cancer. He nurtured the tumor. He prevented the oncologists and surgeons from administering treatment. And knowing he possessed the singular cure, he chose to sit on his hands as the terminal disease ate away at our democracy.
That is the sum of his life’s work. That is his ignominious legacy.
For shame.
https://t.co/vWa6Op3GCQ