jc

i have a really scary natal chart

[jc @doctormurphy]

Oh sorry I’m 2 hours late to work, I’m weaning off one of my antidepressants And I can’t stop crying?

[jc @doctormurphy]

Calling a handful of spring mix “salad” should be illegal

[jc @doctormurphy]

And fatigue and you almost poop your pants daily

[jc @doctormurphy]

Me @ my antidepressants: can you make me less depressed?
My antidepressants: Best we can do is rapid weight gain and brain zaps

[jc @doctormurphy]

It’s not lost on me that getting a tooth removed is a good excuse to eat as many noodles as I want

[jc @doctormurphy]

Why did the broth people and the plant milk people pick the same container for their product

[jc @doctormurphy]

I’m always messing with the ac dials like is there a setting of ac that is comfortable or is it just tundra vs. gym sock

[jc @doctormurphy]

One of the worst things to maybe ever happen is when you order something online you get emails for the rest of your life

[jc @doctormurphy]

Since threads came out I don’t want to use threads or twitter? Rich people ruin everything

[jc @doctormurphy]

Changing my meds again bc the ones that made me sane made me bloated but now I feel insane again so I guess the choices are bloated or ennui + extreme anxiety

[jc @doctormurphy]

Not my suggested ads being the croco bells

[jc @doctormurphy]

Can’t tell if I should call myself a retired hot person or a hot person who has fallen from grace

[jc @doctormurphy]

@serbianworm Hey! I’m working like 60 hours a week and I have $16. You’re just not working hard enough obviously.

[jc @doctormurphy]

If I could only eat one meal for the rest of my life I’m not quite sure what it would be but I think it would involve rice beans and corn tortilla

[jc @doctormurphy]

I’ve literally never seen my stepdad take 1 sip of water

[jc @doctormurphy]

Why do we all have dreams we pull out our own teeth

[jc @doctormurphy]

Linen is the biggest scam. It’s like you think you’re going to look effortless and chic but you look like a crumpled napkin within seconds of leaving your house.

[jc @doctormurphy]

I am drinking white claws on my couch and maybe cried at a dog video just saying

[jc @doctormurphy]

I feel awful all the time no I haven’t touched a vegetable in days why might you ask that ?

[jc @doctormurphy]

I’m going to bed