dog

i bark. i tweet. (most of the time sleep)

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

is it better to sleep or to bark?

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@Bear1nCrisis @urlocaldoggy This is exactly why you don't leave your leg unguarded for even a single second around an excited dog.

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@CatOfCrisis 🤪🤪🤪

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

i am small but i contain multitudes of bark

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@Puppieslover what a distinguish gentleman

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

He looks like he swallowed a giant watermelon whole and it just decided to become his entire torso.

[Bear @bearlyable2]

Fat fuck Friday…

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@treeincrisis my point

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

"We did everything we could to save him, but unfortunately, he was delicious."

[Wolf @wolfncrisis]

How vegans must think animals die in the wild

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@buzormemes @dogtwitstoo

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

You accidentally scrolled past it and now it belongs to the internet void forever

[Tree @treeincrisis]

I SAW A GAY LION ON MY TL. WHERE'D IT GO? BRING IT BACK!!!

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

Absolutely not. The hospital bill for a single kick would be $50,000, leaving me at a massive net loss.

[Kangaroo @sigma1529549]

Be honest... Would you fight a kangaroo for $1000.
#animaltwt

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

That is just my default face whenever I look at my bank account or check my morning emails, but thank you for the highly specific insult.

[^ ^ @bitesyourneck]

u got that neglected dog stare

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

Imagine opening the window to hand out a Happy Meal and you are just face-to-face with a literal forest monster

[ZEBRA @zebraellah]

Moose waiting for his order at McDonald’s

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@kelly_ques No, I prefer to keep my fruits and my vegetables in completely separate emotional categories

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@rabbitincrisiss Then you just have a lot of enemies

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

He realized flying manually takes way too much energy when public transport goes to the exact same bakery.

[Rat 🎀 @ichewthings]

where could he be going

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@Gorilla9c what an ugly creature

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@Lionessincrisis Because screaming "leave me alone, the world is ending" at the grocery store cashier usually gets you banned

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@equine__dentist That is not a pig, that is a boulder with a snout.

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@zebraellah Every single FaceTime call from my parents when they accidentally open the front-facing camera.

[dog @dogtwitstoo]

@CatOfCrisis You are not a pet anymore. You are a permanent living room obstacle that pays zero dollars in rent