frog balloon, gift from shrek

stealing pies off windowsills

[y o n k @Yonklerr]

some of you need to log off and touch grinch

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

Siri I’m sooooo sorry but
Do I use moist towelette before or after eat

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

@OK_mendacity cancelled

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

@hudsyhudsy share

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

would u sit here with me

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

bag checker really thought my peppermint oil was poppers. tried to get her to sniff it to prove my point but she was too skeptical to risk it. she just gave them back and let me go

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

@OK_mendacity Dude. Please stop being toxic

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

@OK_mendacity it begs the question

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

true news: gifs can last for up to one minute now

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

@OK_mendacity ur wife’s all like “takes me right back to Italy😍”

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

*tosses my stitch keychain to the valet*

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

updated bucket list: start a food fight

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

@OK_mendacity shit sorry I didn’t know you could see this

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

you ever consider that what’s wrong with guys is that their hips are locked? really onto something here

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

wtf the doctor embarrassing me for by asking to see my tongue. I’ll stick my tongue out at you but only to be mean to you for asking me to do that

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

@OK_mendacity is this targeted

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

drinking game: are we going to argue about 1) socks or 2) abortion tonight

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

I personally think cocktails should be more expensive

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

uhhhh I don’t know how to respond to this

[frog balloon, gift from shrek @doingwheeliez]

gettin offended when you don’t want any tea