Trice

I'm a dreamer, a sweetheart, & an arson enthusiast. Oh, yeah! I'm British too. I'm far too sarcastic & I care about the Royal baby. #PitBullAdvocate にほんごがくせいです

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

"No, Becky. I won't sign Dave's birthday card. If I'd wanted to sign a pointless piece of paper for him. I would have married him."

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

"If I tell you to suck a dick or two can I still set you on fire?"

- question from my dream.

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

Bed sores - the reason I get up every morning.

[Dylan Meyer @Your_Boy_Dylan]

How did girls text before emojis?

Hey I can't wait to see you tonight! PARTY HAT MARTINI GLASS NOISEMAKER BEER MUG CAT DOG SUNGLASSES POOP

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

"You don't have to like it, just retweet it"
- me to my kids probably

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

#FF @BriarSlyMadness @Prince_Madness1 @Naked_Wombat @OBiiieeee @ryan5551 @DudeInABearSuit @B0nrMunky @sfreeze6 @OnlyFastEddie @thejessbess

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

Don't feed the animals,

No trespassing,

No DMs,

- all just words *throws alligator left over burrito* just words, people.

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

You're the tiny piece of mold I scrape off the bread before I make toast.

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

Nothing's more disappointing than a gorgeous man with a tiny penis.

What

A

Waste.

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

Must give the people what they want...*stays silent* Success!!

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

*something you think is true but really isn't*

April fools!

See...? I'm relevant.

[Only Fast Eddie @OnlyFastEddie]

To the left, to the left

To the left, to the left

All your shitty songs in the box to the left

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

I never knew heartache until I smashed my iPhone screen. This must be what Adele's been singing about.

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

Hey, guys. You can lay off the "how to be happy" tweets. I figured it out a long time ago. It's called alcohol.

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

All this pretending to not still be in bed is exhausting.

[truth'n soul is dead @mrtruthandsoul]

I like kids, but I don't "like YOUR kids" like kids

[Trice @doitlikeyoshi]

Them: do you have a hotspot?

Me: yeahhh, I do *wink*

T: do you really?

M: better believe it *nudge*

T: DO YOU OR NOT?!

M: not anymore!!