Iโd like to take a moment and personally apologize to each one of my 51 followers for not carrying on my annual tradition of live tweeting the #VMAs2019
My Los Angeles lyft driver @ 2:00AM: โIโm new here, I need you to help me get you homeโ
Me: โ...ok, this is gonna be a learning experience for both of usโ
I was so hungover I opened Pokรฉmon Go for the first time in over a year and I caught dis bitch. I still have no idea how to play this game but IT HAS A HAT! So much can happen in a year.