Dominic Renda

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[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Near death experience: Sneezing 3 times in a row while driving

[J. Cole @JColeNC]

My new album The Fall-Off available now everywhere https://t.co/xYS9YERjyu

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

People who wait for you to get to the stop sign at an intersection to cross as a precaution in case you were about to run the stop sign and T-Bone them as if you slowing down isn’t already an indication that that’s not going to happen deserve to be lined up and shot

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Not for nothing but in a generation that supposedly stopped assuming gender, a lot of fucking people assume my dog’s a boy

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Ever happen to anyone else that you have your music on shuffle and a song comes up thats so bad you wonder how it managed to make it into your library to begin with and you delete it

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Maturing is realizing cntrl+C/V is the elite way to copy/paste

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Getting in line at a fast food place right before a heard of 20 people walk in is quite possibly the best feeling ever

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Do people who slowly roll through stop signs at 5km/hour realize it would be much faster to just do their fucking stop like a normal person?

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

PSA for people who hold the doors open on the metro:

The average wait for the metro is 5 minutes

And an average of 500 riders on the metro you just stopped for 15 seconds

15 seconds x 500= 125 minutes

You just collectively wasted 2 hours because you couldnt wait 5 fkn minutes

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Only until you drive behind someone who’s brake lights aren’t working do you realize how important brake lights actually are

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

“Oh you’re Italian? I just finished the Sopranos yesterday”

Me: Cool

Them: Yeah

Me: What’s your background?

Them: Irish

Me: That’s funny, I’m an alcoholic. Look at us celebrating each others culture

An actual conversation I had with a stranger

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

“Sorry if my service is a bit slow today, I got hit by a car yesterday” - An actual waiter said this to me in real life I stg

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

I wish there was a way to honk specifically at the person behind you. For those instances when you wanna tell the asshole riding your ass to back the fuck off but don’t want to make the person driving perfectly fine in front of you think you’re mad at them

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

@X gon’ give it to ya

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

I may be an asshole, but at least Im not one of those fuckers who hold up the line at the depanneur buying 100 lotto max tickets

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

@PlaIism 27

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

You ever visualize which emoji you wanna use but cannot fkn find it for the life of you

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

The term “acting neighbourly” goes out the fucking window as soon as street parking starts to become scarce

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Everyone who hates on laval is just mad our stops are first on the orange line so we always get a seat on the metro

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

@davidleavitt @elonmusk This guy wanna be soulja boy so bad

[Dominic Renda @Dom27Renda]

Yo everyone talk about how long #TheWalkingDead was stretched out for but nobody talking bout how General Hospital on SEASON 60 BRO