Marquis de Sade

Pataphysician. Misanthropist.

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

Another week opens up before us, seven full days to make ourselves better people and perform charitable acts for the good of others. Neither of which will happen, of course, as we're human.

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

I haven't spoken to a human being in 3 years, you were the first one. You've brought me back from the abyss.

[Annie Shaw @CashQuestions]

You can only imagine how terrifying it is to hear the voice of @dom_justintime on the phone when you haven't heard it for about three years and are still in recovery from the last time 😳

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

Hey @Tesla my camera picked up some criminal activity on its sentry mode but I haven't been able to get through to anyone to see if you have it on your servers as my USB seems to have overwritten it. Phone lines are useless. Police want it. Help!

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

@Tesla Hey I need to get hold of the footage for the UK police that appears to have dropped off my Tesla but is hopefully still on your servers (the incident was today). I spoke to someone on the phone but they seemed totally clueless. Can you point me in the right direction?

[Dominic Ponsford @DomPonsford]

Refreshingly honest job ad from @dom_justintime looking for journalists to move into PR. "In return for your soul, we’ll offer you a whacking great big salary so you can drive a nice motor and go on exotic holidays, and stuff." https://t.co/DbkmrCpWxl

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

@onepeloton - do you ever answer the phones in the UK? You were meant to have delivered me a new adapter and it’s still not arrived!

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

Whoever put the value of the house in this headline is sick. Like it matters FFS. Show some humanity.

[Katie Feehan @KatieFee452]

Missing boy, 7, is found drowned at home alongside his hanged mother, 35, after police forced their way into their house in east London #London https://t.co/p1eGz6x2HZ via @MailOnline

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

@alextoussaint25 Love your classes mate

[Sky News @SkyNews]

The waiting list for NHS treatment could more than double to around 10 million by Christmas, health chiefs have warned https://t.co/ipRzozobvB

[Brian Moore @brianmoore666]

This is one of the most painful things I have watched for a long time.

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

“I’m rarely ill, but I did have a bout of pneumonia in early January.” This by @BBCFergusWalsh …. https://t.co/KTq2mh0N4o

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

This twat just brazenly ignored the question to him by a journalist about why Cummings is on Sage - and then the BBC cut the journalist off.

[UK Prime Minister @10DowningStreet]

George Eustice MP has been appointed Secretary of State @DefraGovUK

[David Beech @DominicHide]

@Peston The answer is to stop reading Peston's tweets. You are a failed journalist, out of your depth in this situation. The most stressful and awkward part of the day is listening to your inept and unecessary questions to the Update trio.

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

Prince Charles becomes “highest profile fatality” according to this piece by @wood_vincent

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

And plan B is what? Moron.

[Marquis de Sade @dom_justintime]

Covid-19 has achieved in a week what Karl Marx couldn’t achieve in a lifetime.

[TN Cherry @OhHell_Cherry]

So how's 2020 working out for you, you optimistic assholes?

[Ian Miles @ianmiles]

Britain went from "let's infect everyone because muh herd immunity" to "let's arrest everyone who's infected because if we don't we're all going to die." Amazing.

[Jesse Colombo @TheBubbleBubble]

Also check out my profile in the Daily Mail -

"Survivalist spends tens of thousands of dollars stockpiling 18 MONTHS worth of supplies, including 192 tins of spam, as he fears coronavirus outbreak could cause financial collapse":

https://t.co/GqZR1JosA9