Fuck a break up, have you ever met a person you had a brief but insane connection with and then the universe was like oops wait sorry that wasn't actually supposed to happen😭😭
Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in.
Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool.
Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms.
Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event
Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel.
Step 5: Deploy US National Guard to stop people from taking photos of the swamp as a perfect metaphor for the administration.
Step 6: Blame someone else.
Me: entering Japanese cat café.
employee stops me immediately.
Employee: One rule.
Me: Okay.
Employee: Orange cat bites people from France.
Me: I’m not French.
Employee: Good.
I sit down, cats everywhere, peaceful, adorable, therapeutic.
then gigantic orange cat jumps onto table, built like retired wrestler.
Cat staring at me aggressively.
Employee watching nervously from distance.
Me: I thought he only hated French people.
Employee: He improvises.
cat slowly pushes my drink off table while maintaining eye contact.
Me: THIS IS TARGETED.
small child nearby points at cat.
Child: That one evil.
Employee: No no, He just passionate.
cat suddenly climbs onto my lap, starts purring violently.
Me: …wait he likes me?
Employee shocked.
Employee: Impossible.
another worker comes over, then another, entire staff now observing me like chosen prophet.
Manager arrives.
Manager: He has never trusted customer before.
Me: What does that mean.
Manager bows slightly.
Manager: You must take him.
Me: TAKE HIM WHERE.
orange cat already asleep on me.
Employee quietly bringing adoption papers.
Me: I CAME HERE FOR COFFEE.
The depths are calling… 🐟
The Subnautica 2 Early Access cinematic trailer is out now! Make sure you watch all the way to the end for a surprise 🫣
https://t.co/tKn1S5mewz
Subnautica 2 is releasing into Early Access on May 14, 2026 at 8AM PDT! Check our map to find out what time it will be for you, across the globe 🥳
Read more about the Early Access launch here ➡️ https://t.co/LM6UTOBncZ
Happy No Man's Sky 10th anniversary Hello Game's.
This is my gift to you..65daysofstatic and the excellent community that has supported you over this last decade. Congratulations
🎊 👏👏👏👏 🥳 🫡 P.S sorry I'm early lol.
#NoMansSkyTheGame#HelloGames
https://t.co/wkYfcOmFwz
They're halfway home.
The Artemis II astronauts have hit the "halfway" mark between the Moon and the Earth. They will splash down in the Pacific Ocean around 8:07 pm ET on Friday, April 10 (0007 UTC on Saturday, April 11), off the coast of San Diego.