Señor Hotes

[Seanbaby @Seanbabydotcom]

Hey, Netflix, a documentary where I demand answers from the 50 people in the United States who got the vanity license plate HOT DOG.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

@chancetherapper release dope edits of your songs and title the album "Just the Squaks". Cut out all vocals. Except. The. Squaks.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

@Radioknife1 truuuu https://t.co/2q3imByJs7

[Radioknife @Radioknife1]

It takes the same bite strength to get through a carrot as it does a human finger.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

@Jif Ok. Make peanut butter jars with a screw lid at each end, to eliminate fights between couples over who gets the Virgin Scoop.$500 plz.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

@TEAVANA Do you sell any replacement lids for your contour thermos? I would buy up a bunch. I own easily a dozen, but have many broken lids.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

I do an excellent Patrick Stewart impression, but the only thing I can say is "Patrick Schtewart"

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

Everyone follow @Karlacasas88 if you want to be bored enough to gargle housepaint.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

@deeoxy @Karlacasas88 She goes at her own pace, which happens to be the same speed farts move through butter.

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

People make fun of my utility belt until I pull out a burrito.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

@Karlacasas88 bullshit. Let's see some

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

@Karlacasas88 your Twitter is boring. Start making bad jokes like everyone else.

[Spambro420 @Spambro420]

Sup!
Incredibly beautiful lonely baby staying near you is wanting a chance to moan in your strong arms! This one got creepy

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

The song "How Deep is your Love" came on at work today.

I lost my voice from screaming "Five inches deep, goddammit Calvin Harris".

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

2 stages of vodka:

Sober- We're not in middle school, I'm not drinking that.

Drunk- I can't taste a thing, this bottle is toast.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

Earl Simmons delivers for UPS.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

Saw an obese kid this morning.

Ghost of George Washington beamed down to give me a confident high five.

"Fuck yeah, it worked"

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

Need to stop interpreting signs that say "inedible" as a challenge.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

I've been in a long-term relationship for a long-term. It's over and I need to remember to stop raucously farting in public.

[Señor Hotes @donkey__hotay]

Need to know where the real people at? Yell "Flash" in falsetto. Thugs always respond "AAAAAaaaaah"