Donut Pants

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Check out Keynotopia: mobile and web UI #design templates for Keynote and PowerPoint. #UX #mockups https://t.co/42WDnqhXUF via @amirkhella

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Another @united delay. Of course, the #unitedclub will close promptly, 90 minutes before our new flight time. Damn, these guys suck.

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Flaggers on Golf Rd, IL-58 betw Barrington and 59 at rush hour. Miles of backups. Why, #ILDOT, #hoffmanestates?

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Stuck on the ground at MCO, hot and humid, UA612. Why no AC on the ground, @united?

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

I'm all for the cause, @ladygaga, but, damn, kids are watching... I don't want to explain rape to a 7-year old... #Oscars #RedCarpet

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Me to brain (remembering fucked up dream): Is this what you do all night!?!?

Brain:

Me: Jesus fucken christ...

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

@Sartorialist http://t.co/Ix3FZPE1z3

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

@Sartorialist http://t.co/LZtB5rFlfG

Beautiful

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

I laughed, I cried, I shit my pants. Watch @catastrophe_tv with @robdelaney and @SharonHorgan Funny as hell!

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

@jaymohr37 Sons of Anarchy

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Goddammit I hate @Microsoft so fucking much forever and ever. #officecrashes #office365isoffice2011onthemac

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

My new hobby? Find chicks on @okcupid who don't believe in evolution or gay marriage and bug the shit out of them. High five!

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Just finished @Connellybooks's #BoschAmazon episode 1. Fantastic! I've read all the books, amazing to finally see Bosch on the screen.

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

@WarmCigarette_ @TenderBeefsteak Ah, yes. The beautiful game.

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

@laurenreeves Honey, NOW do you believe me? told you some pilot borrowed my phone and HE looked at porn, not me. He also borrowed the laptop

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Nice one, @nytimes #holyfuck

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

@iamcolinquinn True. So true.

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Anyone else feel productive when forcing out a big fart? I mean, I really feel like I'm getting shit done

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

@SirEviscerate dick is so big it smokes cigarettes and owes child support

[Donut Pants @donutpants]

Watching @itstonybennett on iTunes Festival. Wow!