chloé😛

momma to a beautiful girl🤍

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

you sir need to be in a nursing home…

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

I beat Trump in 2020.

I’m going to beat him again in 2024.

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

for me to stay at the job i am at im going to need a raise because i get treated like SH!T!
got 56 year olds screaming at me. IMMATURE.

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

adults that are 40+ gossip more than people who are in highschool

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

me: have you watched harry potter?
koa: yeah
me: what house are you?
koa: massillon

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

https://t.co/QrvxSsCb4y

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

beth: i have this one surgeon friend. he’s a little younger but i’ll cougar it up
me and natalie: oh my god
beth: this year for halloween i’ll cougar it up if you catch my hint

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

me: he was bussin
madison: where did this take place at
me: trying to sign that it was the shower
vicki: that’s disgusting, your armpit? he was so drunk he didn’t know where he was putting it or?

[Mike Beck @mikebeck23]

Your boy is getting married in less than 2 months... help make this happen! 🤙🏼🍻 @BuschBeer is the best beer

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

zak: you don’t have a type do you?
me: yes, dark hair dark eyes
*talking about someone*
me: he has a dad bod and it’s hot
zak: i would say i have a dad bod but i’m leaning towards the fat uncle
*DEAD*

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

me: should i get my nipples done
zak: do it, they taste like house keys and there is no place like home.

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

🙌🏽💜

[morgan wallen @MorganWallen]

🤝

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

me: i don’t know what to wear tonight
tw: bell bottoms
me: yeah
tw: boots
me: yeah
tammy: where are you going
me: the dusty
tw: she’s gonna get jiggy with it
tammy: huh
tw: she is gonna get jiggy with it you know, like bow chicka wow wow on some leather truck seats
me: stop it

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

comes into work

rob: i know what body count means. i looked it up when i got home.

tammy: is that your amount of body fat?

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

me: do you know what his body count is ?
vicki: yeah, how many people he’s killed

[PickYourWickCo @PickYourWickCo]

I still have these beauty’s in my shop plus more! Link is in bio, and please RT for me. Thank you! 💘

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

me: “makaley you have to stop”
mak: “i know”
*slams on brakes and almost continues through the intersection*
me: jesus
@makaley_bryant

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

i want morgan freeman to be my siri

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

“do you have your cdl?”
“uhhhhh”
“for hauling that dump truck of an ass around”
😂😂😂

[chloé😛 @doodlebug247]

watching frozen 2:
olaf: do you know water has memory?
me: yeah, did you know water has memory?
jarren: why couldn’t it give some to dory?