ava maria

[rat @babystreetrat]

I simply cannot trust ppl who work corporate jobs and actually care about what they do. Like there's something deeply wrong with you

[Steak-umm @steak_umm]

we’ve entered the "ceo eats a burger” phase of late-stage capitalism where multi-millionaires pretend to have mustard on their faces to build brand trust with people who can't afford rent

[pete🕷️ @fgspete]

taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to "bring them to the front". It's not a great system, I admit.

[ukecrow... @zyxcheetah]

America is so beautiful

[ravn @mfnravn]

what if i donate my body to science and they go like "wow, we can’t use this"

[Josh @FitByJosh]

"So y'all don't care about the aliens".

Bro my electric bill is $400. No I don't care.

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

The Little Shawty That Could

[roro, PhD @fuglibetty]

Ever since I was a young child I yearned to synthesise workflows and streamline operational processes

[fat dennings @sappharine]

“women’s worst fear is late marriage” mine is being on Jeopardy and the person Ken talks to before me has the most hilarious, quirky story and mine is mediocre

[Pissed Pissedofferson @femmebot2000]

I loved watching Kathie Lee & Hoda growing up because I could learn about Joni Mitchell and the landing strip wax all in the same hour. A true comprehensive education.

[☘︎ @allis7er]

omg they really dgaf about the paparazis �

[ava maria @doooooooogiee]

@tanner8callahan plz bring back shame

[ava maria @doooooooogiee]

@tanner8callahan yoooo wtf

[e🐅 @divineysl]

I’m so here for the cbk renaissance this is a very personal subject to me

[Mutheleo @Muhasaaa]

can't wait for springtime and I will turn into a butterfly

[elena @grnformicatable]

you can always tell when someone took french instead of spanish in high school

[joy ✶ @ItsSensitiveJoy]

imagine having the nerve to Teams me this

[Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @NotHoodlum]

I didn’t realize we don’t pursue pedophiles if the stock market is doing well. Thank you, Pam Bondi, for that clarification.

[‏ؘ @helllojojo]

i have enough on my plate now i gotta worry about giraffes