jö

[billy eichner @billyeichner]

Well I'm inviting Keaton to the Golden Globes and making him sit with the cast of Get Out.

[Dylan Sprouse @dylansprouse]

Billions of humans consume bean water every morning to stir them from slumber 🤔

[jö @dordanjoyle]

Spent my Sunday watching an entire season of #AHS 🤷🏼‍♀️👻👹

[billy eichner @billyeichner]

Harvey Weinstein was fired. So what are we going to do about the sexual predator in the White House? Just keep letting him run the country?

[Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski]

Just a reminder...

Hillary- Nasty
Mayor of San Juan- Nasty
NFL Players- Sons Of Bitches
Democrats- Losers

Nazis- Fine People

[nick wright @getnickwright]

The protests have been hijacked by folks with an agenda. I tried to set the record straight this morning. I think this is worth your time.

[ethan @ETlHAN]

The difference 6 years can make between @chrissyteigen and @johnlegend

[Wanda Sykes @iamwandasykes]

Dear NFL players, please go to Puerto Rico and kneel to trick @realDonaldTrump into focusing on what the fuck he should be focusing on.

[(parody) BILL NYE THO @Bill_Nye_Tho]

i usually save the bees but tonight im savin the honeys
https://t.co/NZ3FpsZgos

[David Begnaud @DavidBegnaud]

Puerto Ricans aren't talking about politics, the NFL or people who feel the need to kneel; they're desperate for water, power, fuel & food

[jö @dordanjoyle]

If I put you on hold and you hang up and call back and get put on hold again, ITS BECAUSE WE ARE BUSY AND U NEED TO HAVE SOME PATIENCE OK

[BJ ®🕊 @BASEDJESUS]

bitches be fuckin clowns on the daily anyways https://t.co/1qoioQDVHY

[Alexis Ren @AlexisRen]

I accept apologies in cash

[kendra langerud @kendralangerud]

Girls love when you have more than 1 pillow on your bed. Also they love it when you aren't a POS. But baby steps.

[Dylan Sprouse @dylansprouse]

Billions of cow titties are squeezed every minute for their nectar. I don't give a damn about your "religion"