Doug Dalton

Houston based Stand Up Comic. Host of Filth:A Stand Up Show DM for Booking Info

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

A bearded vice president named JD?

I’m used to getting fucked by politicians but not finger fucked

#RNC2024 #Trump #JDVance

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

True story #x #Twitter_vs_X #comedy #storytime #Video #funny

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

I just got heckled, roasted the guy and then he gave me $60 as an apology.

Apology accepted

#comedy

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

We DID cheat in 2017 and we won it all

We did NOT cheat in 2022 and we won it all

Not sure what that says about life BUT who cares..

WE’RE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD AGAIN!!

#WorldSeries #astros #champions

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

One time I worked at a restaurant that had an entrée called “The Bunny Ranch”

(ACTUAL Menu Description)
An entire fried rabbit drenched “To The Ears” in our creamy house made ranch dressing

It was $12.99 and came with slaw and a 64oz sweet tea.

#yum #Foodie

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

My Top 10 Favorite Movies:
(In No Particular Order)
• True Romance
• Léon: The Professional
• Interstellar
• Sicario
• Lethal Weapon 2
• The Departed
• Bull Durham
• Close Encounters (Third Kind)
• Field of Dreams
• Meet The Parents

(Honorable Mention)
• Tin Cup

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

When making social media posts, I always use the hashtag #twins

That way twice as many people will see my post.

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

@TomfooleryTM @shrimpmoneydoug @TheLoneComic @GianmarcoSoresi He was also fully erect at the time. But so was I

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

@TomfooleryTM @shrimpmoneydoug @TheLoneComic @GianmarcoSoresi #asafeplacefromsafeplaces

[doug @shrimpmoneydoug]

@TomfooleryTM @TheLoneComic @GianmarcoSoresi I saw @dougdaltoncomic kill a man on stage once.

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

🤣🤣

[one of gods favorites @leah_sampson1]

My wigs be so heavy like during sex I feel like we in a threesome

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

@chrisrock I got your back, King

#Oscars #WillSmith #WillAndChris #comedy #WillSmithAssault #ChrisRock #chrisrockwillsmith

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

Who let @50cent enter upside down like that? #SuperBowl

[WIDE WORLD OF DOUGS @WideWorld0Dougs]

Dougs are taking over @warehouselive tomorrow at 4:20 with stand-up by me, @DougMellard, @dougdaltoncomic and a possible special appearance by @SecondGentleman Douglas Emhoff!

https://t.co/RgdhOUHvLr

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

The only bad thing about not having hair anymore is that I’m completely missing out on the “moaning while getting a haircut” trend

Some good quality content

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

Tomorrow night!

At #thegreenjayATX

Hit me up for details!

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

You’re welcome, Sweet Prince.

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

Here’s my set from The Filthy Show at The Creek and The Cave last month!

Check it out. Like it. Love it. Share it!
#bussin #houston #austin

https://t.co/q8eHLx8l7o

[Doug Dalton @dougdaltoncomic]

Check out this dope podcast that I got to be on with @DougBenson and @DougMellard a couple months ago!

I appear towards the end but the whole episode is a great listen!
#wideworldofdougs #douglife

https://t.co/OHtV4GbukE