mountain drew

fucking delicious

[thomas violence @thomas_violence]

bernie sanders might have won in votes but, as biden said in his speech, there's no sense planting an apple tree in your yard if you're hard up for nickels to buy pie crust

[ŵ͂̌́͝͡ylde d̵̛̛̜͉̰͈̩͙͌̈̉̆̋̊͡͡e b̡͇̲̏́̐̓̐́̇eest @flashember]

The fastest way to a man's heart is to fire a chainsaw from a cannon at his chest. Let's just say he will "fall for you". also he'll be dead

[Nic Sampson @NicSampson]

A lot of people have been asking about my infamous playlist for having sex so here you go 😉

[Alex Tumay @alextumay]

Friend: Don't be nervous, just play your heart's song.

Me:

[Danny Gonzalez @dannygonzalez]

Guinea Pigs are just potatoes with stories

[obvious plant @obviousplant_]

Are you using the right kitchen knife?

[mountain drew @dougggiie]

I started using fake names when I order food at places cuz I'm just that edgy and cool

[bita🌸 @Voldemorts_Lord]

came across a little canadian twitter drama tonight

[Ariel Dumas @ArielDumas]

There are no rules anymore

[Give Me Internet @GiveMeInternet]

Apartment hunting. This ad said "double bed shown for scale"...

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

Dance like nobody’s watching. Because they’re not. You are the last human alive, slowly twirling, waiting for the fire to swallow you.

[lilooet @lilooet]

Your national anthem has exceeded the maximum number of rhetorical questions.

[Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov]

workout tips:
-lift some not too heavy things
-lift progressively heavier things
-woah put my house down
-u got so strong
-please have mercy