gerge

I have the ping pong song stuck in my head

[gerge @dr_gerge]

@25YearsAgoLive My fatass thought the guy was minion from spy kids 😂

[gerge @dr_gerge]

One time in 5th grade after school I grabbed my friends backpack and ran about 50 feet while he chased me and got it back. The next day they made me learn and write down the legal definition of petty theft and hand write an apology letter to all involved

[Nina vs. the World @ninamonei]

When my sister was in 11th grade, she passed by a class one of her friend’s was in. When her friend went to open the door, she grabbed the doorknob and held it for a few seconds as a joke. The teacher in the room said my sister falsely imprisoned them and my sister was expelled.

[gerge @dr_gerge]

what If woody vs ipad,

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

The dog in Scooby-Doo pissed me off so much. Oh you’ll do it for a Scooby snack? How about you do it or we’ll have you put down

[gerge @dr_gerge]

Friendly reminder that @Bug_Hall is BANNED from my restaurant until further notice

[gerge @dr_gerge]

Happened to me once and I lied and said I had two dads to try to relate and make them feel better

[kim @KimmyMonte]

a few years ago a cashier at TJ Maxx asked me if i needed to pick up any gifts for mother’s day bc they just got a bunch in so i said “no thanks, she’s dead” and she just stared at me for 30 seconds then asked if i wanted to save 10% by opening up a TJ Maxx rewards card

[gerge @dr_gerge]

Alec Baldwin just shot someone again

[gerge @dr_gerge]

@Chilis That’s not true back in 2022 I went to a Chili’s in Albuquerque with my sister and these guys were being loud and obnoxious and one took his shoes and shirt off and he still wasn’t kicked out

[gerge @dr_gerge]

Getting a tattoo of Roman numerals of my birthday on my arm so people know when I was born but in a really cool way

[Villein @burialfetish]

my new year's resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light

[broti gupta @BrotiGupta]

I’m worried that if I met the muppets they would be much smaller than i imagine them to be. Like when youre taller than your mom or something. Im worried about other stuff too

[gerge @dr_gerge]

@UberFacts Shut up

[gerge @dr_gerge]

@UberFacts No it didn’t

[gerge @dr_gerge]

@UberFacts All I listened to that year was Staind

[gerge @dr_gerge]

I wish it was 2001 and my turn to be line leader

[gerge @dr_gerge]

Smirking and shaking my head after I hear him refer to a single square as a “rice krispy” rather than the correct “Rice Krispies”

[gerge @dr_gerge]

@DiscussingFilm Oscar Isaac says he’d return to Star Wars as long as the pay is good, but has to mention fascism so he sounds like he’s one of the “good guys”

[Justin🦩Boldaji @justinboldaji]

Society was better when we were all kinda pretending the Muppets were real. Like they’d be on talk shows and stuff

[gerge @dr_gerge]

All Cops Are Filipina

[Shane 🦧 @TheMonkeyJungle]

Fucking idiot