Draw Kannrlay ❌

it was a joke

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

(14/14) ....and THAT'S how we should solve the global poverty crisis!

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

ChatGPT gets me.

"Huge oversight" 🤣

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

I'm a side-sleeper and I mostly fear death knowing they'll lay me on my back in my coffin. I don't know how I'll ever be comfortable like that.

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

I reported a pot hole on Waze and apparently I helped 57 drivers... I don't know why I give out my labor for free like this. Capitalism is in shambles.

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

Hotels only origami up the TP to know whether you poo'd or not

If they see that the origami is gone after you leave, they know they gotta scrub that bowl

But if the origami is still there, they call your doctor

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

I remember my second grade teacher telling me that talking to yourself is a sign of high intelligence.

My therapist now tells me it's mental illness.

I don't know though..... what do you think about this, Drew?

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

AI SUCKS! Asking #ChatGPT simple questions and getting these dumbass results.. wtf

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

Got my oil changed and the mechanic complimented how my tires look brand new, my oil looks like it gets changed every month, and how clean my cabin air filter is...

Still not convinced I'm not dreaming. Damn does he suck at up-selling but for sure will come back.

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

My monthly tweet (X'eet?):

I hate when a damn cashier asks you a question and your voice comes out all raspy and YOU BOTH KNOW it's because you haven't talked to a single other person that day....

Like SORRY I didn't clear my throat yet this week. Jeeeez.

/rant over CUinJune

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

I'm on my 4th phone in 6 months because I'm an idiot:

1st phone got dropped off a small cliff while hiking

2nd phone literally melted because it was accidentally doused in gasoline and accidentally lit on fire.

3rd phone was a shitty motorola

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

No one ever says "best of luck" seriously...

Right?

I'm not just a sarcastic asshole....

Right???

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

Imagine you worked for 3 months straight and didn't get paid a cent... and then realize that happens literally EVERY SINGLE YEAR TO YOU and it's called TAXES!!!! Call me butterman and lick me upside down

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

The cure for depression is listening to the movie soundtrack from Holes. This shit still bops

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

My mom gets an advent calendar every year and I got a little impatient today and opened all of them up. I don't want to spoil any surprises, but Christmas is on the 25th again this year :/

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

I LOVE the slight tension when you're a white dude at the Taco Bell drive-thru and the hispanic teller asks what type of sauce you want and you HAVE to tell them "mild" even though YOU KNOW that SHE KNOWS, JUST FROM LOOKING AT YOU, that you were going to order mild anyways. 🥵

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

If you accidentally send someone an email twice, do you then send a THIRD email to apologize for the double email? Or do you go apologiless?

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

I've been playing the first 8 stanzas of Take Me Home Country Roads all week. And ONLY the first 8 stanzas of Take Me Home Country Roads.

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

Buying a harmonica is the best idea I've had all year. My neighbors disagree.

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

I love bumble cuz you see girls' attempts at opening lines omgg 😱😭☠️

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

Imagine being a night-pooper and ending each day on the toilet lmaooo

We morning-poopers get shit started early!

[Draw Kannrlay ❌ @drawkannrlay]

You ever been blue-balled by a sneeze? That shit hurt, you just wanna let it OUT!