Ava

Join me up here

[Ava @dreamsofava]

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[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I appreciate you so much, I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

Good morning @nightmarevelyn I’m back again with my morning tweets to you. Are you ready for round two of our therapy session?

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Well, I guess I am but I don’t want to be. I just want love and attention from my parents and to have a friend that wants me.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I know I know, I now truly am a psycho. Please stay with me though. I felt horrible the second it happened. She was gone and I immediately regretted it. I'm crazy and messed up but I’m not a murderer.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I killed her. After the film finished I followed her home, she went into an alley and I just did it right there and then. Hit her over the head with a rock. Not the smartest way to kill someone but…

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I was so angry. Anger that I had never felt before in my life. I wanted to get revenge on her and do something so drastic that my parents would have no choice but to pay attention to the fact that I exist.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I was so upset, now for two reasons. To cheer myself up I decided to go watch the film on my own, not wanting to miss out. When I arrived, there was my friend and her other bestie, waiting to go see the film we had planned on seeing.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn On the same day my parents were going on a trip, I thought it was just them but turns out, they were taking my sister too. They just didn’t want to take me. Said “They didn’t want to bother me” but that actually means “We forgot you existed”.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I was basically abandoned. She still said we were close but her actions didn’t match it. I was upset and angry. I had never felt such strong emotions before.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Okay well, you know I told you I didn’t have any friends? Well… I had one. She was my BEST friend, I loved her so much. We had the perfect little friendship together. Until she went and fucked it up. She made another friend and started hanging out with them more than me.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, having a bad boy boyfriend. Did not work. So… I went even further.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn At first it was just the normal stuff. Getting amazing grades, didn’t work. Then getting awful grades, again, didn’t work. Then it was cutting my gorgeously long hair into an emo cut. Didn’t work. After trying all the basic things, I tried to go more drastic.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Into some weird stuff type of strange. Like I would rip the heads off my barbies and create crime scenes with my dolls. I don’t think they ever got over that. My sister has always been the angel child. I just want attention from them but nothing I do ever works. It’s always her.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Great. Wow, where to begin… Well, my relationship with my parents isn’t all that good. In all honesty, I don’t think they like me. I’ve tried everything over the years to become closer to them, to be what they wanted, but nothing worked. As a child, I was rather… strange.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Good because I’ve really got some juicy stuff for you today. I was up all night really getting into my feelings just so I would be ready to share them with you today. I want my one and only friend to truly know me.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I do now. Catch you tomorrow, maybe I’ll open up some more. I’m super messed up.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

Hi @nightmarevelyn

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Not gonna lie, it stings, BUT I appreciate you not completely getting rid of me and still wanting to be my friend. I really feel like I can trust you.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn I didn’t want to lose the first real friend I had made. So, I got defensive and shut myself down.

[Ava @dreamsofava]

@nightmarevelyn Well thank you J But anyway… The other day when you said you had other friends besides me. It really made me upset. I know it's psychotic and I sound like a nine-year-old, but, I just got really scared.