Drew Staats

Rap game Benny the Jet Rodriguez

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Body cams for food service workers @POTUS

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Dimes are the cutest coin by far. How about you bring 9 of your lil friends and we’ll see what shenanigans an Arnold Palmer gets a couple of us hell raisers into

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

I smoked weed once, now I run a 24/7 lo fi beats YouTube livestream. Still think it’s not a gateway drug?

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

BREAKING NEWS:

Rapper ‘Lil Pump’ is shockingly found in his home completely fine

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Mesothelioma been quiet as hell lately

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

@musquitooo Again I’m sorry, it wasn’t meant for you

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Testosterone is the result of helping someone parallel park when they don’t need it

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

At what age did “playing 52 pickup” ruin your afternoon

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

*I make a joke about not being able to see John Cena in a photo he’s clearly in*

*everyone dies of laughter*
*I get verified on twitter*
*Time magazine interviews me*
*my family loves me again*
*I no longer live in an empty septic tank*
*war ends forever*

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Living in an nyc apartment is basically just playing life sized Jenga with all of your belongings anytime you need something

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Winning this was easily the best part of my childhood. The three of us had such a blast getting into shenanigans and learning about what it means to be a man. Some people thought we were triplets because of our chemistry🤣Their names are actually not Zack and Cody

[wengel @wengelll]

the CDC says fully vaccinated individuals can now enter the danimals sweepstakes to win a trip to hollywood and hang out with zack and cody

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Just saw a Chic Fil A employee get shot for saying you’re welcome instead of my pleasure, a lot of people will argue it wasn’t my place to pull the trigger but she knew the stakes when she helped my grandma cross the parking lot

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

The WNBA is a joke, not because it’s women, but because the white players aren’t that bad

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

I wish God listened to me like my phone does

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

So I guess everyone knows I’m dating John Mulaney now

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

@JordanPone Good looking out boss man, it’s like I just watched it a fifth time.

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

I’ve seen the matrix 4 times and still have no idea what happens

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Just gonna keep getting the tetanus shot until my mom gives me my PSP back

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

@anthonystew4242 Kids been vaxed since ULA #nosnifflesjusthustle

[Drew Staats @drew_staats]

Just got vaccinated, where all the sick bitches at?