Drew

[Drew @drewmadood]

@beachslang got drunk and watched School of Rock. Couldnt stop thinkin about if James was the teacher he wouldn't stfu abt the replacements

[Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut]

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn’t get so mad at them.

[Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut]

If there is a god, he sure hates people.

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

A fun prank is to ask a friend over for tea and secretly fill the sugar bowl with salt then when they go to drink it stab 'em in the face

[Drew @drewmadood]

"no matter how bummed out you are on life or how disconnected you feel from everything, music pulls right back up and keeps you positive"

[Drew @drewmadood]

liquor's in the bottom drawer

[Drew @drewmadood]

"what would you do if someone bought you a lapdance from a stripper named 'crusty'?"

[Drew @drewmadood]

"you're going to SUPERHELL!"

[Drew @drewmadood]

"...i had nothing to offer anybody, except my own confusion"

-Sums up 2016 for me

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

I'll straight up use my travel shampoo at home and eat home fries when I travel I don't give a shit anymore.

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

As if there ain't enough shit to get sad about it's gotta get dark at 4:30 every damn day???

[Drew @drewmadood]

french toast but use a croissant instead of bread

[Turnover @turnoverva]

Citizen sucks

[Drew @drewmadood]

"...and you know why that is, Andrew? You look like the fucking Hitler youth."

[Drew @drewmadood]

said "poop" in front of the entire class

[Drew @drewmadood]

burned myself 5 times today, new pr

[The Menzingers @themenzingers]

When you're brushing your teeth you're really just cleaning your skeleton. #wakeandbake

[Drew @drewmadood]

people need to stop talking about that damn gorilla

[Drew @drewmadood]

"I had a friend in middle school that was hypoglycemic and she cried a lot. Is that why?"

[Drew @drewmadood]

I want to take this class but a version where everyone else isn't an idiot and no one asks stupid questions