Chris

just a goofy whiteboy

[bruh ★ 🏳️‍⚧️ @monkeydaroace]

like her being 28 when she finally realizes she want to live MEANS SOMETHING TO ME

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

your 20s are all about repeatedly rediscovering basic facts like "I feel better when I wash my face" or "eating breakfast is actually a great idea"

[❤️Nora Crow❤️ @TheWr13r]

The fire giving the impression of closing eyes is art at its finest btw

[Tae @yuridoujins]

Dante is so fucking funny imagine you depict people you don't like as soyjaks burning in hell because they suck while you're the Chad ascending to heaven because you're awesome and it goes triple platinum and is taught in schools

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

post-hangout affirmations

-i was normal
-there are at least 2 or 3 people alive
who are worse to spend time with
than me
-no one wants me to die
-nobody noticed when i missed my
mouth a little bit & spilled some diet
coke down my shirt

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

@growing_daniel A true man of honor dies toothless in bed surrounded by his family, having given all he could to those around him, love included.

Bleeding out on foreign unfamiliar soil for no cause other than recreation is the equivalent of dying on a skiing trip.

[🤠 @heavensbvnnyalt]

[meeting girlfriend's parents]

me: i'm a big fan of your work

[ғͭᴏͪᴏͤʟ 🇵🇸 @UncleDingler]

i go garbanzo on her bean until that chick pees

[両刀使い ・ Ryou ☭ (TRANSLATION COMMS PAUSED •フリー翻訳者) @gloopbastard]

they should invent harmless cigarrettes for aura farming purposes

[alex @rslashchips]

me after getting dog walked 0-30 during in-person friendlies: ah GGs guess I have a lot to learn lol

me after losing a pretty close set against a stranger online: hm! Didn’t realize they let illiterate pedophiles buy this game too

[moneyfolder: round 5 @MoneyFolder5]

THE SWITCH 2 IS $350 IN JAPAN AND $450 IN AMERICA

DONALD TRUMP YOU STUPID FUCKING OBESE FUCKING ORANGE BASTARD DUMB FUCK JESUS CHRIST FUCK YOU AND YOUR TARIFFS OH MY GOD

[shar @sharloola]

no i actually noticed that social cue i just don’t know what to do with it

[Headgraphix @Headgraphix]

“Say, Drake”

[adam @adoomie03]

Nice high beams bro do you wanna see an unregistered firearm

[spence @spencers_tweets]

I don’t care who the president is. Latinas must be allowed to enter this country.