phlegm fatale ➷

twitter account, real human woman

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

the group chat has come to a consensus: bong water is a beverage

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

asking google AI mode for life advice because i can pretend it’s just a “search” and not a chatbot conversation

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

i’ve spent a lot of time lately pondering whether or not i, if put in the position of that goth girl, would be willing to endure a highly public PR and/or sexual relationship with Drake in exchange for life-changing wealth. and honestly i don’t think i could hack it

[Elizabeth Holmes @ElizabethHolmes]

The answer to every challenge lies in your heart.

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

mother encouraging me to buy overpriced accessories from opiumcore LA brand because she’s worried i’m going to have a mental health episode >>>>>

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

i think that whole “skinny foid nationalism” LARP that a lot of right-wing and burnerverse anons do on here is so funny. like if you actually talked to a Real Anorexic her evil neurosis would destroy you

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

lowkey having my identity stolen rn

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

@babeofprey im still instagram mutuals with like 10 of them lmao

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

i’ve never seen meghan trainor and chanty beluga in the same room…

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

@astigmatsmhaver hi

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

josh hartnettspend

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

the tumblr fans were watching supernatural for white boy yaoi. if you tried to make them learn about voodoo they would riot

[boop @lesbianacrobat]

It's actually crazy we got 15 seasons of a show with "american gothic, cryptids, supernatural" as a foundation and didn't get a single episode set in new orleans exploring hoodoo or voodooo or true southern folklore and mysticism. holy dropped ball

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

MF DOOM son or bell hooks daughter

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

i mentioned the parasite out loud on a phone call and now my feed is nothing but parasite paranoia. no wonder this app gives everyone schizophrenia

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

the funniest love island drama ever was when ppl tried to cancel olandria’s dad for being “pro israel” because he posted a star of david on facebook. he was a GD…

[cold 🥑 @coldhealing]

I'm a central figure in an internet subculture that doesn't exist yet

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

see this is generally true but does not apply to those of us who went to a small liberal arts college with a prominent yik yak culture

[john @johnsemley3000]

top life tip: literally nobody is thinking about you. you are barely perceived. nobody is observing or regarding you.

[phlegm fatale ➷ @driftwoodprison]

i used to be very invested in clavicular because with his natural nose he looked a lot like my ex so i would see him and get sad. now our bond is severed. goodbye.

[KickChamp @Kick_Champ]

Clavicular got EMOTIONAL after realizing Dr Miami may have RUINED his nose forever and cost him his entire career 😳

[Richard Siken @richardsiken]

Dear @HunterBiden, I published a book of love poems and won a prize. Now young people ask me questions here. I find it difficult to be honest about my experiences while remaining tender and encouraging. You, also, have been through things. What would you tell kids about love?

[playful peter @w0rldmap]

Finished wordle, crossword, connections, spelling bee, strands and sudoku. Time to go to the liquor store

[Finnishman Act III ✝️🇫🇮🇪🇺 @FinnishZoomer]

Maybe the greatest moment in papal history