Dan Riley

I am an elastic band enthusiast. Also I drive a Pepsi Blue Civic.

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@BaldBryan 🥂🍾 Thanks for not dying in 2025… I say we let the tradition continue in 2026! Wishing you and yours all the best in the New Year! 🍾🥂

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@BaldBryan dispite it all you did it again… Thanks for not dying in 2024… wishing you and yours all the best in 2025! 🍾🎆🍾

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

LET’S FUCKING GO BABYYYYYYYYY IT’S TIME TO EAT

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@BaldBryan Thanks for not dying in 2023… Here is to achieving the same in 2024! 🍾

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@notNate99 @WorldWideWob Late entry for greatest reply of 2023

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@SheaSerrano Best opening line to a conversation ever

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@BaldBryan

1) How dare you.

2) Obviously this year had obstacles… but truly… Thanks for not dying in 2022.

3) That was from the heart.

4) Best of luck in 2023!

[Dan Riley @driley32]

In some MCU alternative universe Jim “Mr. Fantastic” Halpert reads this list of trigger words to turn Dwight into #TheWinterSoldier…

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

bears
beets
battlestar galactica

[Dan Riley @driley32]

It’s “piqued my interest” not “peaked my interest”.

2022 is full of surprises.

[Dan Riley @driley32]

“At your highest moment, be careful. That’s when the devil comes for you.”

A quote so good that my initial reaction was:

What is my AOL Instant Messenger sign-in? I need to update my profile…

[Abbie Ruzicka @AbbieRuzicka]

Twitter during an awards show is like a middle school hallway between classes

[Dan Riley @driley32]

Song of the Summer 2022

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

he fucking made arby’s cool

nobody is above pusha

he’s the absolute top level

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@BaldBryan a few people might get upset by seeing the following statement but… Thanks for not dying in 2021. Best of luck in 2022!

[Dan Riley @driley32]

Ditto

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

getting boosterized today — y’all make sure y’all go do the same 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@SheaSerrano Please & Thank You…

[Deadline @DEADLINE]

"Primo," a coming-of-age comedy from "The Good Place" creator Mike Schur and "The Ringer" writer Shea Serrano, has been ordered to series at @IMDbTV https://t.co/tRbevwb2EP

[Dan Riley @driley32]

Update: Still true.

[Dan Riley @driley32]

Most people are scared of snakes or sharks but horses scare me most because they paralyzed Superman.

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@SheaSerrano quick question… are there Petty Officers in the #FOHArmy and if not… dibs on being the first? Thanks… (I’ll take my answer off the air)

[Dan Riley @driley32]

@GinaGrad I am so so sorry

[Dan Riley @driley32]

Dear @BaldBryan I know 2020 was a crap year... for everyone... but especially for you... thanks for not dying. Good luck in 2021! #LongLiveTheBald