allina8

keep up with me and i'll slow down for you

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

I'm glad I was alive during a time when leaving the house didn't cost $300.

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

cats will be like oh you're walking somewhere? no WE'RE walking somewhere. and i will get there first. where is 'there' btw

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

It’s just extremely funny how billionaires tell us to get by with less, when they would literally destroy the world to avoid paying even a 1% tax.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

I wasn’t super worried about the hantavirus, and then RFK Jr. said “We have this under control, and we’re not worried about it” and now I’m super worried

[` @ymmmayer]

not to alarm anyone but is anyone else worried about how fucking stupid everyone is ?

[Cass ✨ @simplyck_]

I miss the life I had before I was forced to experience Donald Trump running the United States.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Once the weather gets warmer, I'll be unstoppable.

Unless it gets too warm. Then I'll be stoppable again.

[Nithya Shri @Nithya_Shrii]

I don’t want to work somewhere that is “like a family”. I want to work somewhere that understands that we HAVE families.

[🌊Miss 💙Melody 💙 USNavy Retired @_MissMelody]

Trump says his life was better before he became president.
Dude, everyone's lives were better before you became president!

[Softboy @softcreateee]

“Can we reschedule” OMG YES PLEASE

[Daractenus @Daractenus]

For the record, the president of the United States is now simultaneously claiming that he has won the war, is currently winning the war, needs help to win the war, and needs no help to win the war. All to destroy the nuclear program he claims to have already destroyed last year.

[Dutch Rojas @DutchRojas]

Your doctor went to medical school for 12 years. The person denying your claim went through a two-week training module.

[Kristen @Kica333]

“I hope this email finds you well”.

Me: It did not.

[UduBunch @UduBunch1010]

@nickimoraa You wanted original Kraft, he brought Velveeta
Some people will do everything for you… except listen to you.
Know the difference.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Why is it always
I suffered, so you should too

instead of

I suffered, and no one else should have to?

[Mr. Spock 🖖 (Commentary) @SpockResists]

At the end of the day

It was a fucking football match.

It isn’t the job of a singer for 15 minutes to unite a country.

That’s the job of the President.

A job he fails at every fucking day.

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

I don’t need a vacation.

I need everyone to stop talking to me while I’m in the bathroom.

[Kristen @Kica333]

I kind of miss when people stood 6ft away from me in public.

[Solyricon @Solyricon]

God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.

[Ed Krassenstein @EdKrassen]

BREAKING: @AOC just completely went off on Trump after ICE murdered Alex Pretti.

"Donald Trump [is] accusing a Veteran Affairs ICU nurse (Alex Pretti) as being a terrorist against the United States. A man who was treating services members to our country, who was dedicating his life to serving Americans. Who in his final act on this earth was helping a woman pushed to the ground. And they are calling him a Domestic Terrorist, in order to defend their gross abuse of power, their absolute breaching of the law and in order to precipitate greater conflict."