Kenzie

sit crooked, talk straight

[(parody) BILL NYE THO @Bill_Nye_Tho]

Damn how much daylight they tryna save?? it's dark as hell

[Kenzie @dropthemc]

Can I convince HR to give me FMLA for when my cat doesn't want me to leave? because I feel like I have a strong case

[elijah🐻🐰 @ThvK00kiee]

me??? tired??? stressed??? exhausted??? i wanna cry??? yes.

[aLec robBins @alecrobbins]

going to bed always feels like giving up on the day. the longer you stay up the more points you are scoring

[charlie @chunkbardey]

i’m honestly a pretty productive person except for if there’s even one noise or sound

[Noah ✵ @noahdonotcare]

*opens eyes at 9 am*
me: i can't wait to go to sleep tonight

[Kenzie @dropthemc]

Toy story is a work of art

[KM @KimberleeyKaay]

I’ve got to think of a way to get off this planet by tomorrow

[Kenzie @dropthemc]

I DONT WANT A SIDE HUSTLE, I DONT EVEN WANT A REGULAR HUSTLE, I WANT A FUCKING NAP

[Kenzie @dropthemc]

What's sad is that THIS moves me to action more than the fact that I cling to every last one of my contacts until they've done corneal damage

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

actually my biggest fear about the apocalypse is probably just losing my glasses

[trash jones @jzux]

trust my gut? the thing that can’t even handle milk?

[the moon’s wife @bookishseawitch]

did hamlet want revenge or did he want an excuse to put on a little play

[Olly iConic @OllyiConic]

[uses the term ‘balls deep’ six times during a job interview at khols]

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Many people say I am also the GOAT, but only because I am agile on rocky terrain and easily digest tin cans.