calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯

#edtwt 20+ 𖦹 bmi18s cw53 lw47 ๋ ࣭ oh catastrophe

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

never going to get used to a non ed mindset again some dude was just telling me he wanted to lose weight but didnt have the time to go to the gym so hes stuck like that and my first thought was just "you can try starving"

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

i genuinely thought ive been getting better but then my sister showed me a picture she took of me and i immediately felt so much regret for how much ive been eating and i dont see myself ever being able to eat normally again

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

sisters im afraid this ed will haunt me forever

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

family wants to get fast food tmr :C gonna try to omad it so i dont go insane in the process

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

someone get me a poptart before i lose it...ghhh...

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

having to convince my family im obsessed w sweet potatoes so they stop wondering why i want to eat it so often (im so sick of sweet potatoes atp)

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

watching all my old classmates live their lives on ig meanwhile im stuck gaining and losing the same 5kg pls just help me end it

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

im so hungry every passing minute feels like an hour

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

seeing all those transformation pics on my tl...when will it be ME !!!

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

my friends all talking about grabbing food to eat like it's the most normal thing in the world why am i the one who has to have the sickness that makes you horrified of food what the fuck

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

i dont want to be sick anymore god i just want to be able to eat again without feeling like pulling my hair off after

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

bday's coming up again and i keep worrying about whether ill get a cake again. ik its contradictory bc i dont want to eat one but i also want one bc im literally supposed to be celebrating

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

this but not wanting to eat robbed me of so many outings w friends and family that could have actually been enjoyable

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

told my friend abt my ed and she mentioned she did notice that i got weird the one time she made a joke abt how all the characters i liked look severely malnourished 😭 and here i was thinking i was slick

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

i went to one yesterday and saw so many skinny cosers hghhh ive never felt so embarrassed for myself

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

made a friend whos been convincing me to go to more cons lately and cosplay and its been good motivation to restrict so i look better in costume honestly 😭

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

had a big lunch after restricting for so long and now my stomach hurts like hell looks like i drank the dumb bitch juice by accident today

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

going through pinterest right after a binge gotta be some form of torture fr

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

think im going to start counting steps again... ive been getting so many weight loss ads and its not been doing my mental health any good so

[calu 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @drowfairy]

feeling my thighs touch when I stand makes me feel so disgusting and i dont know if that feeling will ever go away