Old Ben Kenobi

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

@SassyGeneralHux @KyloR3n I'd like fewer jazz hands.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

@VeryLonelyLuke Yes. They also cauterize the wound so you don't bleed out.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Damn.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

B
BOU
BOURB
BOURBON
🥃

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

@VeryLonelyLuke Funny; I remember telling you as much when you kept asking what to get your aunt for her birthday.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Dismembering a friend and leaving him to burn to death in magma.
#BadWaysToShowYourLove

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Trying to murder your friend and mentor for not agreeing with your ideology.
#BadWaysToShowYourLove

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Torturing your daughter for information.
#BadWaysToShowYourLove

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Force choking your wife into unconsciousness.
#BadWaysToShowYourLove

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

@VeryLonelyLuke Mostly I never called him.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

How did I end up on karking Hoth? The last thing I remember is dozing off at Chalmun's.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

@dadjokehansolo @punpantry No.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

What part of, "I'd like to be alone in my cups" is hard to understand?

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

@CapeLando I warned both he and the cantina not to try it.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Luke, if anyone asks, that cantina caught fire on its own. I was here, with you, the entire time. Understand?

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

I worked with Saw Gerrera once. He was a karking arse then, too.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Maybe "your focus determines your reality" wasn't great advice for a former child slave from an awful planet.

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Why does my mouth taste as if I've been eating copper all night? Did I eat copper all night?!

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

@BadFatherHan What's a Kirk Douglas?

[Old Ben Kenobi @drunkbenkenobi]

Yes, Luke, not seeing the remote is the entire point of this exercise. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a flask I must tend to.