millenial sam malone

depressed, anxious, AND good looking

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

My favorite thing is this jewelry store I have never shopped at texting me pics on every major winter holiday

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@brett1296 @PLeonardNYDN @glennonsports Since when do we cancel football for RAIN? The concerts make sense but this is literally just wind and rain.

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@Sofia_u7 @RapSheet What culture? You guys have been dog shit since you came back in the league. No team has less culture than the Cleveland Browns 😂

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@OldUncleEllis Possibly the dumbest and most fragile take of all time lol

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@damienwlr Can guarantee 1/3 of these guys didn’t bring their ID

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@joeyhoppman @gopuff It's a chow mein bowl. This didn't come in a box either, it just had one of those little paper sleeves that didn't cover the dish, so it looked like this in plain sight.

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@gopuff someone at your nashville location really looked at this and said "yea this is totally ok to sell", what in the actual hell. This is disgusting.

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

Apparently “Suicide! Better than livin!” is not a slogan that goes over well in the south 🤷🏻‍♀️

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

Learning a lot about football today @jon_bois

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

Screen Shot

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@sethweathers You throw like a guy who wishes his dad let him wear a dress

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@bushido_thot Are you seriously suggesting clueless isn’t great

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

perfected the algorithm

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

going to valentine’s dinner and doing the dr evil “how about no scott” voice when the waitress asks if my date wants dessert

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@Kozak_C @motelsiren @tomgreenlive Maybe she knows how to jerk off an elephant

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@tomgreenlive THIS IS A FANCY RESTAURANT

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@UniWatch Same team, but anyone who had a Celtics Dee Brown #7 jersey in the 90s can recycle it as a Jaylen Brown jersey now. Weirdly enough, same number and city, but JD and Stephen Drew both wore #7 for the Red Sox

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@elyonmanuel @GEMS_ONE1 @WWE 2nd best, you forgot jinder mahal

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@GEMS_ONE1 @WWE Yeah like jinder mahal

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@WWE Jinder mahal

[millenial sam malone @drunkshane11]

@ShuiabahmedSr @WSWAJQuinn @WWE Also forgot jinder mahal