Deme

Fighting fires and buying crypto one day at a time. If it ain’t bass I don’t want it.

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

Airbnb is banning hosts from requiring guests to wash dishes, do laundry, or complete other "unreasonable" chores

Hosts who violate the policy could face warnings, flagged listings, and reduced visibility

[Capcom Brasil @CapcomBrasil]

Desculpa, chefe, hoje não vou poder ir ao escritório… FUI DIAGNOSTICADO COM DOGMA. 😵

A expansão de Dragon’s Dogma 2: Dark Arisen já está disponível.

[ؘ @fireandgrief]

this will never stop being funny to me

[Margaret Red @margaretred1115]

who tf names their kid carrietta, I fucking played 😭

[WAD 🍷 @LouStandUP1]

I just watched Backrooms, that is 1 hour and 45 minutes of my life I will never get back. I don’t care what anyone says or tries to explain, that was one of the worst movies I’ve seen in my entire life. It’s one of those movies that we are told we should like, fuck you. That was a piece of crap.

[Lance Corporate @lance_corporate]

Being a dad is just telling yourself “it’s been an expensive month, we’ll get back on track next month” over and over again until you die

[sammy @_itzsammy]

Sorry if this offends food truck owners, but food trucks need to be CHEAPER than restaurants again. I'm not paying $22 for tacos to eat next to a parking lot. How are you charging restaurant prices without a restaurant?

[Corporate Dudes @corporatedudes]

The generation that ruined everything wants our help🤔

[Noah @Noahhcalls]

Don’t let social media fool you 7 out of 10 people don’t even have $1,000 available.

[idontpaytaxes @untaxxable]

Why the fuck is a PS5 $1000.

Consoles used to be $300 lmao.

[Jake Kozloski @jakozloski]

The best part of being married is getting to say "let me check with my wife" about something you personally have absolutely no intention of doing.

[HalloweenVerse @HalloweenVerse]

We made it. 🎃

OCTOBER IS HERE

[Horror Losers @horrorlosers]

September 30th October 1st

[HalloweenVerse @HalloweenVerse]

Waking up on October 1st like 🎃 👻
#October #Halloween

[CooperBaggs 💰🍞 @edgaralandough]

If you have a baby…

After your baby goes to sleep, you feel like the night is yours. DO NOT listen to that voice.

Go to sleep.

[Brandon Beylo @marketplunger1]

Wife: *Sick*

2yo: *Sick*

6mo: *Sleep regression*

Me:

[MOAC💰🏃🏻‍♂️💨🏁 @mindofachaser]

Well, this is officially peak life as a man.

Been a dad for less than 12 hours. Haven’t slept in 2 days. As a mf who has basically done it all and seen it all by 29, I’m telling you…becoming a father is the peak.

You don’t need the millions. You don’t need the cars, the watches, the businesses. If you have ever held your own son or daughter you’re already in the 1%.

If you don’t have kids? You’re unfortunately missing out on the greatest blessing there is. I really don’t know how else to say it tbh.

My daughter in my arms. My superwoman of a fiancée in the bed sleeping.

Just feeling these little fingers grasp my pinky to soothe herself to sleep is worth more than any deal or any car or any business.

Makes every single one of these unread emails or business “problems” I have feel completely insignificant.

Sure, one can love the game. Purpose, passion, philosophy, politics, these are important facets of living a full life as a man.

But fatherhood?

This is the peak.

[FIGURE @ImFigure]

I love candy corn and I’m done with the hate. Let me eat my fall wax slop

[Calliope Eolande💜🎶 @CalliopeEolande]

My girlfriend: "im full do you want the rest of my..."

Me: