Ændres

Father, IT Mngr, Problem Solver, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[revolvermag @Revolvermag]

🥄 Seattle street performer Artis the Spoonman — who inspired SOUNDGARDEN's "Spoonman" — recording his backing parts for the song in 1993.

[Alice in Chains @AliceInChains]

Newly unearthed footage of our soundcheck from the Norwood Fisher Benefit Concert on January 7, 1994. This set at the Hollywood Palladium was the first time we ever performed “No Excuses” live. #JOF30

[Ændres @dstrkt]

Gran año.

[The Grunge Scene @TheGrungeScene]

January 7, 1993 – The nominations were announced for the Grammy Awards. Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, and Alice In Chains were all nominated.

[Ændres @dstrkt]

The Chemical Brothers - Goodbye https://t.co/sns9p07Lyq via @YouTube

[Ændres @dstrkt]

😍😍

[Pitchfork @pitchfork]

New music festival just dropped: See you in Mexico City in 2024!

Click the image below to read more, and follow @pitchforkcdmx for the latest updates https://t.co/CynjMUCZjq

[Trino DJ @trinodj]

Tamales García CANCELA sus icónicas cartulinas para los conciertos en Foro Sol y Palacio de los Deportes. Quién sabe quién les fue a decir algo que sintieron el terror encima. Incluso hicieron un comunicado al respecto donde dan a conocer el fin de esta tradición viral.

[Contra Official 魂斗羅公式 @ContraSoldier]

Contra, the original run 'n' gun, is back with Contra: Operation Galuga! The action is more explosive than ever in this reimagined '80s classic from Konami & WayForward, the team behind Contra 4! Coming early 2024 to Switch, PS4, PS5, Xbox, & PC! #ContraOG https://t.co/lZ8qRX2DgY

[We're just normal men @wejustnormalmen]

We’re just innocent men

[Beastie Boys @beastieboys]

Thank you NYC

Photo by @poonehghana

[CONSEQUENCE @consequence]

On Saturday, New York City will formally rename the intersection of Ludlow and Rivington as "Beastie Boys Square" in honor of the hip-hop group.

Surviving members Mike Diamond (Mike D) and Adam Horovitz (Adrock) will attend the dedication ceremony: https://t.co/VR6OuJPzZY

[Beastie Boys @beastieboys]

Good people of New York & beyond!

Beastie Boys Square Unveiling Celebration!
Saturday September 9th
Corner of Ludlow & Rivington Streets
Lower East Side NYC 12P-2P

[The Grunge Scene @TheGrungeScene]

Chris Cornell being Chris Cornell!

[Ændres @dstrkt]

@leos Vaso siempre que sea posible.

[CONSEQUENCE @consequence]

Queens of the Stone Age.

That's it. That's the tweet.

[Oasis Mania @OasisMania]

Noel Gallagher on The 1975 😂

🎥 NME

[Ændres @dstrkt]

Test approved 👏🏽
We have a drummer

[Foo Fighters @foofighters]

Thanks for joining us. It will be streaming on @Veeps for 72 hours on demand if you missed it: https://t.co/hzz5G9mOKy

We'll see you all soon.