DJ 5oMit3

Okay Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house to use the bathroom...but his sister did.

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

New theory: all these cringe “day in the life” posters are part (willingly or not) of one giant AI training exercise so robots can take over a wide range of daily human routines

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

@vulturetrades Trade

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

@dlondonwortel Last thing we need is more people in this state, what you tryna do here sir Daniel?

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

@stoolgambling @DKSportsbook Hawaii

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Your move @dunkindonuts @HBO

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

How my daughter sees my wife coming into her room after a nap vs. how she sees me

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

IG showing your friends’ likes and comments on reels is diabolical work. My 5th grade math teacher grading a lot more than homework at night

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Not reading that picture essay…hope you had a nice year / 2025 is better to you

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

@DotsNCuts Doug Martin was him for a quick minute

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

*me after suffering through another season of awful reality TV*

“Ah, finally over, maybe we can watch something of substa…”

“On this season of Fall House”

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Jk homelessness isn’t looking too bad at this rate though

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Gearing up for my 9th move since college tomorrow, here’s what it taught me about B2B sales…

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Overall, the transformations are impressive and I’m addicted to them but def overpriced to walk out of there with glorified bed head that’ll be hard to maintain

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Then they’ll inquire about what kind of haircut the client wants, almost always some weird ass tik tok cut I’ve never heard of before (textured fringe seems most popular)

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

The transitions of the before and after pictures go from poor lighting and grayscale filters —> bright filter, glasses removed and this funny head turn where the client looks to the camera with puppy eyes

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

The barber will mention how their haircut is $150+ and ask why the client is willing to travel so far / spend so much on their services

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Next the barber will make a joke or insert a short video clip making fun of their current hair (or lack thereof)

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

Been religiously watching barber videos on IG reels for last 2 weeks, here’s what I’ve learned:

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

They all start out with a map of the insane distance the client traveled to get there (1-3 hours often)

[DJ 5oMit3 @ducebagg]

@Phweeter_ Just give em some e-bikes at this point